Beyond Hell

Okay, I was all emotional and shit over the weekend, and stressed the fuck out beyond belief, so I thought this post was going to end up all whiny and everything, but the weekend from Hell ended on a high note (no, stoners, I don’t do that), so aside from the migraine attempting to carve its way out of my brain right now, I feel pretty fucking good. That’s also aside from the only a few hours of sleep I got Sunday night/Monday morning and I hit the gym for the first time in THREE YEARS Monday afternoon. Ouch!

Sorry to disappoint you, Unca T. No need for popcorn or tissues.

In the last week or so, my cousin Skywise and I had a discussion about an old wives’ tale/myth/whatthefuckever where when your hand itches, money is supposed to be coming to you. And I’ve been told that if one hand itches, that’s true, but if the other hand itches, money leaves you. I call bullshit. All of my life, whenever my hand (either/or) has itched, money comes to me within a day or two. It doesn’t matter which hand it is. It’s weird, I know, but then it’s me and I’m weird. The kicker of it is that the money always comes to me when I absolutely need it the most, and to preserve what little sanity I have left, I presume.

Sunday night, just before midnight, I sold the item below . . .


. . . for $300.00. I know, I about fell over too. The wonderful person also purchased a bracelet along with it. Earlier in the evening, I’d sold a necklace, and within the 10 minutes after selling the ink wash, another person bought a bracelet. Not to mention the custom order I just received . . .

Oh hey, by the way, I do custom orders – colors/stones, sizes, etc. – for necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. I’ll post some pics in the Jewelry & More section soon!

Anyway, HOLY CRAP! Can we keep this ball rolling, please? I could use a little more than a break/breather. I’ve been drowning for months and a reprieve isn’t looking like it’ll happen anytime soon. I have at least a few more months of this waiting game shit.

There is another ink wash listed . . .

Click on the image

Also? Soon I’ll be adding t-shirts to the above-linked section. Some will be Umi quotes. *snorts* C’mon! How can I NOT put that shit on a shirt and sell it? Honestly. She’s fucking hysterical. And just so you know – and she already knows this – when she dies, I’m totally publishing a book titled Conversations with Umi. Yep, you bet your ass I am! The world must experience my mother and I intend to immortalize her. HA!


Spam Comment of the Week – 23 Apr 2012

Yes, I write my dates weird. Whatever. But I have an interesting comment for this week. *snorts*

Today’s spam comment was on Legion, a movie review, and comes from Back Linking. Nice name. Someday, maybe these idiots will figure out that that’s an automatic clue to the fact that they’re a spammer:

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

First of all, Back Linking, no, I have not visited your website. Not even when you left a link with your comment. I have no fucking desire whatsoever to see your website. Second, no, it is NOT okay to use ANY of my ideas. You see, Back Linking, there’s a little copyright notice titled “COPYRIGHT SHIT” to the side and down, AND there’s a copyright even further down in the sidebar that says: “All Rights Reserved © 2012 Jinxie’s World“. So it is abso-fucking-lutely NOT okay to use my ideas! Comprende?

Oh, and the BEST part about this lovely comment on that particular post is that when I transferred it over from Blogger, all the text turned white…..SO YOU CAN’T READ IT!!!

*falls over laughing*

I’ll fix it tomorrow…someone remind me.

CONTEST Winners!

First, I’d like to thank all who participated. You’re all awesome and I love you, my darling minions. We have TWO winners in Tuesday’s contest for the FREE e-book Shadows in the Dark by LD Hutchinson, and one lucky winner receives a pair of amethyst earrings made by yours truly!
I’m excited! Are you?
Two of you gave me the correct answers to the question: Name one of the original titles for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which had two possible answers: The Dead Un-Dead and The Un-Dead.
The answer to the bonus question was Count Wampyr.
Thank the gods he ran across the name Dracul during his research!Good job! I’m very proud of you! =D

Alright, so let’s get down to the winners!

Winner #1 wins the FREE e-book, and the winner is: Christina

Winner #2 wins both the FREE e-book AND the earrings: Leah

Congrats to you both!!! Email me. I’ll send you the code for the book. And Leah, send me your address so I can mail your earrings, which I will do on the 1st.

Thank you so much for participating! For future contests, I’d LOVE to hear your ideas. Drop them in the comments below and we’ll discuss.

Click on the image to visit my shop

It’s CONTEST Time!

That’s right, my darling little minions, we’re holding a contest. I know, it’s been awhile, but have no fear, you can win a FREE book!

Last Friday the 13th *giggles* I helped host a book release party for an hour, where I had three of the author’s books to give away, three of my books to give away, and someone won a piece of handmade jewelry from me. I did a drinking game of sorts because in my book Nemesis, Nemy is a bartender…and likes to drink…a lot. *ahem* At least three of the drinks I used in the game were from the book. =D

The thing is, I didn’t realize 1) how much fucking FUN doing that would be, and 2) how little time one hour is. So, I have TWO copies of the book below to give away today. Take a look…

Shadows in the Dark by LD Hutchinson

What dark things lie in wait for you when you least expect it? Vampires? Avangeline used to think they weren’t real, until she was told that her best friend has been one for years now, as well as her fiancé, and most of the other people she knew. Later, she finds out what she really is… The heir to a Vampire clan, and the only thing that can stop a war between good and evil. 

Go take a look at the link here, but it’s pretty much the same thing I have listed above.

It’s a FREE ebook, people. And it has vampires in it. Oh sure, I could keep a copy for myself, but I’m going to buy it so I can review it later. Reviewers aren’t allowed to receive free copies. It’s a stupid new law. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, you’re wondering what the damn contest is, right? Well, first, you HAVE to comment on this in order for at least ONE entry to count. Second, you HAVE to follow the directions for your options outside of commenting on the post…and here they are:

  • Share this on Twitter for 3 entries
  • Share this on Facebook for 3 entries
  • Reblog or mention it in your blog for 2 entries

If you choose to do any of the above, you MUST provide the links for each item you do in your comment, and give me your TOTAL number of entries as well. Next, answer the following question, if you dare, as it is the main part of the contest, after all…

Question: Name one of the original titles for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. (1 entry)

BONUS entry for Count Dracula’s original name!

It’s easily searchable, by the way. =)

Just so the answers to the question(s) don’t show up here in the comments for everyone to see, email those to me at: jinxieg13 (at) gmail (dot) com, with the name you post your comment as above or below the answer(s).

And as a bonus, I’m throwing in THIS wonderful piece of jewelry as a prize to one of TWO lucky winners!

Note: You can do ANY of the things above, only some of them, or ALL of them. It’s entirely up to you; however, you MUST at least comment on this post in order for your ONE entry to count. There is opportunity for a total of 11 (eleven) entries!

You have until 11:59 pm, Thursday, April 19th to get your entries in. And by all means, let’s make this entertaining so SHARE!!!

Seriously…don’t make me beg.

I’ll choose a winner on Friday the 20th, using

Spam Comment of the Week X

This will be the last post I number because I just don’t feel like going any higher in the Roman numerals. Besides, they start getting really long after awhile. Maybe I’ll add a date instead.

This week’s comment amused me, so I thought we’d use it. It’s obviously a spammer for Pinterest, as the name is Saw this on Pinterest. Yeah.

I’m also amused by the fact that this comment was left on last week’s Spam Comment of the Week.

Thank you, I’ve just been looking for info approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve came upon so far. However, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain in regards to the source?|What i don’t understood is in reality how you are no longer actually a lot more well-appreciated than you might be right now. You’re so intelligent.

The bottom line, dear Saw is that all of you spammers are fucking idiots who so very obviously do NOT read the posts you’re commenting on; otherwise, you’d all respond so much more differently. As for the source of my information, well, it came right out of my spam folder in Akismet, which isn’t tampered with at all. But, dear Saw, along with you, I really don’t understand why I’m not more well-appreciated either. I mean, I’m fucking hilarious. Right? Don’t answer that. Just smile and nod.

You flatter me, dearest Saw. Thank you so much.

Now, go buy something from me:

Conversations with Umi – Part II

Last May, I posted Conversations with Umi, right before Umi’s birthday, which is May 6th (remember that, folks). One of the conversations involved Palm Sunday (look below post), which just passed last week. Since I had a complete JinxieFail on posting about Palm Sunday being on April Fool’s Day *snorts* (and I totally wouldn’t have forgotten had it been Easter to fall on that day), I’ve decided to do another Umi post. I mean, hey, her birthday is coming up anyway, right?

By the way, if you haven’t discovered it yet, Umi has her very own Facebook Fanpage. You should go “like” it, if you haven’t yet. She’s quite fucking hysterical.

Let us begin, shall we? I’ve pulled these from her fanpage.

* * * * *

UMI: Do you need someone to go with you for the EEG?


UMI: You can’t drive if you’re drugged.

JINX: I won’t be drugged. They’re studying my brainwaves.

UMI: That won’t take long…

* * * * *

JINX: Oh noes! You missed #NCIS!

UMI: Fuck a dick!

JINX: *snorts and falls over*

* * * * *

UMI: I was going to go to bed, but I don’t think I’ve seen this #NCIS….ooh, I’ve got chocolate!

* * * * *

UMI: I’m gonna go lay down for a bit.

JINX: OK, love you, mom.

UMI: I’m not going to bed!

JINX: I know.

UMI: You love me anyway?

JINX: Of course I do.

* * * * *

UMI: I’ve got Hogwarts down on my Bucket List!

* * * * *

UMI: *to firefighter on TV* You must not have seen that spot on the application that says “ugly guys need not apply.”

* * * * *

UMI: *glares at Jinxie_G* You’re disturbing my “me” time again with your damn #insomnia!

* * * * *

JINX: I love you, mom.

UMI: I know you do. I’m your favorite mom!

* * * * *

UMI: *walks out, looks down at Moon* Hi butthead!

* * * * *

UMI: That’s probably for Sunday (Pony Express riders)

JINX: What’s on Sunday?

UMI: *sighs* A hundred years of statehood. Sheesh.

JINX: How do you remember this shit and forget to take your pills?

* * * * *

JINX: *bangs on computer*

UMI: Know what I think?

JINX: What?

UMI: You need a new laptop.

JINX: I would agree.

UMI: Know what else I think?

JINX: What’s that?

UMI: I need one too.

* * * * *

JINX: I wish I had a photographic memory.

UMI: I wish I had ANY kind of memory.

* * * * *

UMI: Are you gonna tweet that?

JINX: You betcha!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Fiat commercial* Is that that Sofia gal?

JINX: That is not Sofia Vergara.

UMI: Are you sure? It looks like her.

JINX: It’s not her.

UMI: It sure does look like her.

JINX: It’s not her, mom.

UMI: It looks like her.

JINX: I’m ignoring you now…

* * * * *

UMI: I am almost ready for bed.

JINX: Good, I can watch my fight porn.

UMI: What fight porn?

JINX: Spartacus.

UMI: *raises hand* I am Spartacus!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Subway commercial* Sorry, but Ben Franklin was never a president! *rolls eyes*

* * * * *


JINX: Is it a black widow?

UMI: I don’t think so. Well, I can’t tell bc it’s smooshed now.

JINX: You didn’t know the last one was a black widow.

UMI: You said it wasn’t!

JINX: *rolls eyes* No, I told you it was and you didn’t believe me, but it was black and had a fucking hourglass on it’s little black body.

UMI: Whatever. This one’s dead.

* * * * *

JINX: You got some new fans!

UMI: That’s because I’m funny.

* * * * *

UMI: I think we need to move to another planet because this one’s going to Hell in a handbasket.

* * * * *

UMI: *watching new Crayon commercial* I wish we had a kid so we could get some of those.

JINX: *blinks* You want us to have a kid so you can get the new Crayons?

UMI: Sure!

JINX: How about I just buy you the fucking Crayons, Mom?

UMI: Eliminate the middle man. That’s good. I like it!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Edible Arrangements commercial* I’m gonna send myself one of those!

JINX: Really? People are supposed to send stuff like that to you, Mom.

UMI: Well I don’t have anybody to send me one!

* * * * *

JINX: *squints* It’s too bright in your room.

UMI: That’s bc you like the dark, vampire person.

JINX: *continues talking about something else* Wait, did you just call me a vampire person?

UMI: Yes.

JINX: You gave birth to me, you know. What’s that say about you?

UMI: It’s one of my mistakes.

JINX: Thanks, Mom. I feel so loved.

UMI: I love you, Jinxie! *hugs tight*

JINX: Riiiiight.

* * * * *

UMI: *opens front door*


UMI: Oh stop it. You’re not a gremlin!

* * * * *

On Palm Sunday 2010:

Jinxie: Jesus fucking Christ!

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: I know. *pause while surfing web* Jesus fucking Christ.

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: And your point is?

Umi: *glares*

Jinxie: What?

Umi: *glares some more*

Jinxie: WHAT? Do you not want me to say that? LOL

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: Okay. So I shouldn’t say that what, 3 days a year?

Umi: Yeah, that’d be good.

Jinxie: What about Ash Wednesday, you want me to add that?

Umi: *shakes head and walks away*

* * * * *

Are you scared yet? You should be!

Welcome to my insane world.

Spam Comment of the Week XV

Oh yes, we have another one. Isn’t this fun? It’s still kind of slim pickings in the spam comments, but let’s see what we’ve found this week.

Today’s spam comment on Linguine in Clam Butter Wine Sauce comes from Monster Beats. Oh yeah, bring it!:

This is certainly my first time i check out listed here. I discovered so several entertaining things in your blog site, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments in your articles, I guess I am not the only 1 having many of the enjoyment below! Retain up the great operate.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any comments on that particular post, though I do appreciate the flattery, Monster Beats. In fact, I don’t get a lot of comments in general, which I try not to bitch about, but then, most times I don’t post things for y’all to comment on. My bad. However, I’ll do my best to “retain up the great operate,” whatever the fuck that means.

Wait . . . didn’t I say something similar last week? *blinks* Oh man, I need to find something else to post on Mondays.

Happy Monday, everyone!