Archive | June 2010

Internet Woes

Oh woe is me … kidding.

I just wanted to jump in here for a few minutes to tell you about a new phenomenon I’ve discovered recently regarding my internet connection, aside from the ticking time bomb I’m watching, waiting for it to explode (this is the one area where I have all the patience in the world, and yes, I do realize what you’re thinking in regards to the phrase “ticking time bomb” – time bomb should be one word, huh?). Gotta love family.

Many of you know that I’ve moved in with Kitty. Many of you know that Kitty has a man in her life and I think I’ve bitched complained mentioned that they talk on the phone quite a bit. Quite recently, every time he calls the house phone, I lose my internet connection at some point. At first, I was thinking it might have something to do with his super mutant IT techie powers, but then I discovered he’s merely human. hmpf  Really, it all depends on what part of the apartment Kitty’s in when she answers the phone. For two nights in a row, she was in the living room on the sofa. She didn’t believe me at first, but after the second night where I lost connection the instant she answered, which had me laughing because it was just too ridiculous, there was mention of changing the channel on the cordless phone, and hey, what do you know, internet connection came back. It’s like magic. Super mutant IT techie magic. Hey, maybe he’s not human after all. Some would probably agree, but suggest more along the lines of reptilian territory. Oh. My. God. That makes him a super mutant ninja IT techie turtle! SCORE!

So, if you notice I’ve disappeared from Twitter, first, look at the time. If it’s during my normal nocturnal tweeting hours, you’ll know that my disappearance is due to Kitty’s crappy cordless phone that keeps interrupting my wireless signal.

hee hee hee

*Note to self: Don’t write blog posts too early and with a lack of caffeine.

NOTE to reader: Look for my uncle’s Biscotti recipe on Jinxie’s Kitchen this Friday, which I’m now calling the Biscotti Plate of Death because he put pecans in it. Brilliant! Makes you want to try some, doesn’t it? Don’t be scared.



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I know, right? Two Christian-type movies in a row. I did that on purpose.
Legion is an apocalyptic film starring Paul Bettany (The Da Vinci Code) as Archangel Michael, who has come to Earth to fulfill God’s orders to destroy humankind by killing a child, but then he defies those orders to save humanity. He still believes in the humans, thinks that God has only lost faith in them and needs to be reminded of His love, and he fights for them against a legion of angels sent to carry out the command, led by the favored Gabriel.
By the way, the angels seem to possess the bodies of weak-willed humans. It was such an interesting concept, I found myself cataloging all the people I know that would have been possessed. Watch out, folks, I have guns. *smirks* Bullets apparently seem to work quite well.
Tagline: When the last angel falls, the fight for mankind begins.
That tagline makes absolutely no sense for this movie. Just ignore it. I have. Wait, I’ll tell you why it makes no sense. The angels haven’t fallen if they’re acting on God’s orders. And it can’t be that it means fallen in battle because of the second half of the tagline. So yeah … makes no sense. The only thing that makes any kind of remote sense is “fallen to Earth,” but, really? I’m still not buying it. This is not your typical Armageddon tale, or end of the world prophecy well-known to Christians. The writers and director have used their imaginations (gasp, I know) and stepped outside the box for this tale. Guess what? That happens now and then.
This is Director Scott Stewart’s first major film release, and he’s normally on the visual effects end of things in film production. Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton, and several others make up this cast of wayward characters who find themselves stuck in a diner in the middle of the desert at the beginning of the end of the world. You have your prim and proper couple with the frigid wife, the about done annoyed husband, and the rebellious teenage daughter who’s dressed like a hoochie just to piss off her parents. The diner waitress (who is pregnant with the child Michael is supposed to kill), Charlie, smokes and shame on her for doing that, but it’s realistic, so I’m not going to give too much flack. Charlie, of course, wants nothing to do with Jeep (who thought up that name and why? Was he conceived in a Jeep?), who is completely and totally in typical crestfallen nerdy love with her.
Can we say stereotypes? Of course we can, but hey, it makes the story work, right? *shrugs* Maybe.
Tyrese Gibson, cutie that he is, plays a lost traveler who stops at the diner to find his way. He’s dressed all gangsta-like, and ends up shooting the old lady who likes to walk on walls, but he does a good job with body language because I totally picked up on the shaking pistol and that he’d never shot it or killed anyone before, unlike the rest of the cast because they all seem to be ignorant to body language. Can we get a hells yeah for Tyrese’s character Kyle being something other than what he seemed? Abso-freaking-lutely.
Charles S. Dutton’s role just wasn’t big enough. He’s a damn talented man, but I will say that his dialog with Kyle on top of the diner roof was powerful and beautiful. Dennis Quaid plays a washed up man whose wife left him years ago, and all he has left are the diner and his son, Jeep.
Likewise goes to Bettany’s private conversation with Jeep. Those were powerful words, my friends. Here they are:
When God chose your kind as the object of His love, I was the first in all of heaven to bow down before you. My love, my hope for mankind was no less than His. But I have watched you trample that gift. I have watched you kill each other over race and greed… waging war over dust and rubble and the words in old books. And yet, in the midst of all this darkness, I see some people who will not be bowed. I see some people who will not give up, even when they know all hope is lost. Some people, who realize being lost is so close to being found. I see you, Jeep. Fifteen years old, your mother leaves. Your father withdraws from the world and you spend the next five years of your young life helping him find his way home. You love a woman who bears the child of another and you love her with no thought of yourself, even though you know she may never love you the way you love her. You, Jeep… you are the reason I still have faith. (
And one of my favorite lines of all:
Bob Hanson: You know this is crazy, right? I mean… I don’t even believe in God. 
Michael: Well, that’s just fine, Bob. He doesn’t believe in you either. 
Creepiness ensues in this movie not only with the little old lady who climbs walls and walks across ceilings all Exorcist style, but also with the Ice Cream Man, played by Doug Jones. He’s like a human pretzel. The Ice Cream Man hits the top of the creepy factor for me. SFX did an awesome job with him and that whole scene.
There’s quite a bit of predictability in this movie, and I won’t spoil any more of it for you, but I’d definitely say the movie is worth watching. The entertainment value is there if you just sit back and watch it for that. If you’re looking for anything else, you may be offended (if you’re a religious type), and you may not like it much.
Angels aren’t always the good guys, my friends.
I give this movie 2 Jinxes. It’s good, not great, and I did like it.

My 41st Birthday

Yes, I just turned 41. I’m not ashamed of that, nor should I be. I’m not your typical woman who freaks the hell out over a damn number. It’s just a number. I know I don’t look my age, except when I’m exhausted, and that’s all in the genes, baby. *fist pump*

This year, my 41st birthday was filled with bacon and eggs and video games … Okay, so Kitty took me to see Prince of Persia. Not really a video game, but it’s based on the game I’ve played, so close enough. I’ll review it on my movie review blog once I finish the review for Legion that I haven’t started yet. Let’s just say that I really liked it. =) And yes, I know I’m behind on my reviews. Deal. I’ve been busy taking care of Kitty and looking for a job.

Kitty also took me to dinner on Friday to a nice Italian restaurant. I know, a nice Italian restaurant in Tucson? Who knew? It was very good and there was a very cute man sitting across from us. The evidence is all on Twitter because I had a couple of glasses of wine. Twitter is dangerous, aside from also being addicting, and I hope to run into the Russian Daniel Craig again sometime. I couldn’t approach. It looked like a boy’s night out with his dad and son. Approaching would just be rude. And he’s probably not Russian. Maybe Slavic, but I couldn’t pick up enough of the conversation to decipher the language they were speaking. And no, I’m not posting the blurry picture!

Moving on …

On the day of my birthday, Kitty decided she wanted to make me breakfast. We decided pancakes sounded good. Um, problem. The pancake mix was too old so they turned out incredibly flat and didn’t taste too good. Next try…French toast! Uh, yeah, problem. Because Kitty’s been ill for several weeks and hasn’t been eating much, I’ve also not eaten much and the bread was bad. Okay, next try for something to go with the maple bacon that’s making the house smell utterly divine. Scrambled eggs! With cheese! Win!

Are you hungry now? Wait, I also had a birthday Twinkie!

NOW you’re hungry!

My friend Shawna made some beautiful earrings for me too. Thanks, chica! I love them.

(the one in the middle)

What made this birthday so special was the multitude of birthday wishes I received on Twitter and Facebook. You guys and gals are made of awesomesauce and I love you to death – every one of you. Also, CJ Redwine called me to sing happy birthday because she felt that my aunt shouldn’t be the only one to sing off key to me. And she did, in her best Marilyn Monroe voice, once she finished giving me flack for the way I answered the phone. What she doesn’t know is that I was on the phone with Umi and getting that woman to stop talking because you have another call is damn near impossible. I think I hung up on her. I haven’t called back to find out. I should probably do that.

Anyway, it was a fun-filled weekend and a wonderful birthday thanks to all of you. *bows* I’m so not worthy, but thank you.

Now, go look at Karsten Knight’s vlog because that, my friends, will make you laugh.

Moving Umi

From the length of time that has passed between moving Umi and writing this blog post (on Saturday, actually), you can see exactly how much the process drained me, and I’m not just talking about the move itself in 100 degree weather. Photos are also lacking in this post because I didn’t take any. I was too busy trying to stay hydrated and keeping myself from passing out. God, I hate this state.

My mother has always, for whatever reason, picked the summer months to move. It has nothing to do with when Akhi and I were kids and not moving while we were in school, because she did that too every now and then. We moved about every three years, to which she protests, claiming “I hate moving. It’s why we stayed in one place when you two were kids.” Really? Okay mom, have fun in that little world. By the way, are there any tall, hot warrior vampires in there too? If so, I’d like to join you on Fantasy Island. Be sure to say “hi” to Mr. Rourke for me.

She also never plans her moves. This is the biggest cause of my headaches: her procrastination and lack of planning. Let me show you what was supposed to happen on Tuesday, June 1st:

  • Wake up at 8AM.
  • Umi and Akhi pick up the moving truck at 8:30AM in Chandler.
  • Leave Tucson by 9AM.
  • Arrive at new apartment by 11AM, meeting Umi and Akhi there.
  • Get keys to said apt and place pets inside, then go to storage unit.
  • Empty storage unit and take load to apt.
  • Go to ex’s storage unit with Avalanche (because the moving truck won’t fit) and pick up futon, leaving extra items behind that I have no room for in Tucson.
  • Take futon back to apt.
  • Take Cali. king bed to ex’s condo around 2 or 3PM and get queen bed from him.
  • Unload queen bed from moving truck, load up ‘lanche with items going to Tucson, and leave for Tucson by 5PM or so.

Yeah. It so didn’t work out that way. Here’s what really happened:

  • Woke up at 8AM after about five hours sleep.
  • Umi and Akhi are supposed to pick up the moving truck at 8:30AM on Chandler Blvd because the place in Maricopa doesn’t have one available and forgets about their reservation.
  • Left Tucson by 9AM.
  • Call Umi to discover they don’t have a truck yet, but are on their way to get one on Chandler Blvd. For some reason, they decided to go to the place in Maricopa first, where the owners decided to be about 30 minutes late in opening. Tell them to call/text me when they have the truck.
  • Wondering why I woke up at 8AM and contemplate turning back to wait at my apt.
  • Reached the outskirts of Marana (45 minutes from where I live) and talked to Kitty, and then called Big Daddy confirming the time to trade beds and push it back a little because they’re now running late with the truck.
  • 10AM – Umi and Akhi finally get a truck.
  • Reached the outskirts of Casa Grande and called Umi to see where they’re at in loading the truck and moving along because no one has called/texted me yet. They just got to the house and begin loading the truck.
  • Change plans and decide to go to ex’s storage unit first while waiting for them to get into Tempe.
  • Arrive at ex’s storage unit and load up what they need from there.
  • Call to discover they’re just now hitting I-10, which means about 20 minutes or so before I see them and the trip to their new apt will only take me 5 minutes.
  • Go to their apt. and wait.
  • Receive panicked call from Umi regarding apt. and how it’s not available now. Tell her to call the man she’s working with on this and stop calling the apt. complex office. She can’t call because she’s driving, so I make the call.
  • Realize that my darling mother hasn’t filled out the paperwork yet to get the keys to the apt. Ask man if his mother drives him as crazy as mine drives me. He responds with “that’s why I live four states away.” I reply with “that’s why I’m moving to Tennessee.”
  • They arrive 5 minutes later.
  • Take Umi over to a complex in Mesa (stopping at bank along the way to get a money order), which all takes about 30-45 minutes while Akhi sits with truck, 10ft. Burmese python, and now the cat.
  • Umi signs paperwork and we drive back to apt. to get keys.
  • Begin unloading truck with stuff from Maricopa.
  • By the way, the apt. is UPSTAIRS, the first and last step being doozies. This has all sorts of images of my mother tumbling down the stairs and killing herself going through my head. Just lovely.
  • Up and down the stairs to unload trucks in 102 degree weather.
  • Finish unloading and head over to storage unit to empty it around 4PM.
  • By the way, there is no electricity in the apt. and it won’t be turned on until Wednesday because of the holiday. There’s a phone call here that essentially explains that I should have just handled it ALL my damn self. Let’s just say that the woman on the phone at APS confused Umi about how to pay the deposit, so they had no electricity the first night, which means no air conditioning. See my point? Good.
  • Akhi gets a smaller storage unit for his ex’s stuff.
  • Try not to pass out while emptying storage unit (poor Akhi does most of the work). Drink lots of Gatorade and water. Still dying.
  • 5PM – ex calls and says he has to go to Globe for a job. It’s a 2-hour trip each way. Great. But I tell him not to worry because we’ll probably be finishing up around the same time he gets back.
  • Head back to apt. around 6PM with truckload. Unload…again.
  • Separate my stuff from theirs and set it aside.
  • Luckily, some new neighbors offer help. Yay! The place may not be as ghetto as I originally thought.
  • Spend the next three hours unloading the truck and trying not to die just yet.
  • Rap-boy is entertaining, however. Every time he leaves his apt. or returns from wherever he went (which is SEVERAL times), he is in a constant state of rap. I’m not kidding. I wonder briefly if he knows my brother Siege. Probably not.
  • Load all of my stuff in back of moving truck (except that which is going to ex’s storage unit) and lock it so Akhi and I can go over to Big Daddy‘s storage unit to get the futon with my ‘lanche.
  • Return with futon and small fridge, then load items going to Tucson into my truck.
  • Leave folding table and Cali. king bed in moving truck and call ex around 10PM. Get directions and head to old town Scottsdale.
  • Got to see my Boppy!

(he kept moving, the little shit. And this is the ONLY picture I took that day)

  • Trade out beds and give ex the folding table because it simply won’t fit in my damn ‘lanche and I have no place else to put it.
  • Give him the sheets and comforter for the Cali. king bed too.
  • Hug ex goodbye, where he decides to linger and hold on a little longer than expected.
  • Make quick exit before the tears start to roll (I mean, it’s been a damn year and a half already. WTF?).
  • Drive to In and Out Burger for sustenance and then head back to apt.
  • Umi is all kinds of happy we brought her food.
  • Wolf down my burger and half of my vanilla shake, then head home around 12:30AM.
  • Wonder just how in the hell I’m still functioning.
  • Call the kitty to let her know I’m heading back.
  • Drive home is like being on autopilot…thank God!
  • Around Picacho Peak, think of the hug for whatever reason and proceed to bawl my eyes out.
  • Decide that I’m way over exhausted because we’d gotten over that shit, right?
  • Arrive home around 3AM (couldn’t speed because I had stuff in the back of the ‘lanche) and decide to hell with unloading my truck at that hour. It can sit overnight and I’ll unload it the next day/night.
  • Walk in, take a shower, have a smoke, and collapse into bed.

And that was last Tuesday for me. It’s taken about four days to recover because of my fibromyalgia and lupus. Fun, fun!

Next time Umi wants to move, Akhi can hire some damn movers (he laughed at me when I mentioned that, by the way). I know that’s what I’m going to do because I hate moving…loathe it now.

And now I’m going to go write something else. =)

Barbara Poelle Interviewed by Were-Llama

If you know anything about CJ Redwine, you’ll know that she regularly holds interviews on her blog. I’ll have to admit that Captain Jack Sparrow is one of my favorite interviewers, but this time around Were-Llama interviews literary agent Barbara Poelle, and hilarity ensues.

If you’re a writer, you may be interested in the contest happening over there, where Barbara Poelle will not only give away a copy of THE CONQUERER by Kris Kennedy, but also a 10-page critique to one lucky commenter. Writers know the importance of this freebie so jump on it! You have until Sunday to enter.