Archive | November 2014

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

…because Life never plays fair, and if you play fair expecting Life to play fair back, that’s like expecting the lion to not eat you because you didn’t eat him.

Yesterday, I forgot to post my gratto. It was Thanksgiving, after all, and I hope those of you who celebrate the holiday had a lovely day. And since it was the day we give thanks to what we have, I’d like to state that I am grateful for Umi–she who gave me life and raised me to become the person I am today, and she who still gives life to me each and every day.

The migraine came back, so today I’m grateful for my Imitrex, though it makes me queasy as fuck. Which means I’ll be in bed soon.

However, I’d much rather have one of these….




…because holy hell, am I ever in a lot of pain.


I woke up to my back deciding to say “Fuck off!” this morning and spent the better part of my day in a great deal of pain while alternating ice and heat and being as pleasant as I possibly could be to my customers on the phone. I did fairly well on that, actually.

At any rate, this is a short one because I’m still in a lot of pain.

Today’s gratto:

I’m grateful for my doctor, Katy. Without her, I’d still be suffering from the pinched nerve (and that’s not even what’s bothering me today). She’s changed my habits, my diet, the way I look at things, and she keeps me on track. I need that. You have no idea.


I Stand Corrected

…because they’re not really daily affirmations, are they? *shrugs* Hell if I know. I just write here.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

  1. the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed. “he nodded in affirmation”
  2. emotional support or encouragement. “the lack of one or both parents’ affirmation leaves some children emotionally crippled”
  1. the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
    “she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support”

Yeah, totally not the same things.

Thanks to my friend Chaz DeSimone, who’s a pretty cool artist guy I cyber-met recently, it’s been pointed out to me that affirmations and gratitudes are not the same thing. Not really. I mean, I suppose they could be. I was thinking gratitude as I write these things, but I called them affirmations yesterday. So I’m changing it. And like Chaz, I’m going to shorten gratitude to gratto because I like the way it looks and sounds. When I say it aloud, it reminds me of Joe’s Grotto, which is a bar in Phoenix. But that’s not the point….

Here’s today’s gratto:

I’m grateful for the wonderful friends I’ve met throughout my life and since I joined Twitter six and a half years ago. Some of you have been around for 20 to 30 years; some of you I’ve only recently met. Some of you I’ve hung out with, danced with, done crazy shit with because I know you in real life; some of you I’ve met online, but have had the pleasure of meeting in person, which has been awesome. And even if we haven’t met just yet, we will, because y’all are worth my time. And that’s saying a lot. I love every one of you. You have been my inspiration, my rock, my sanity, my partner in crime, my family, my devil’s advocate, my sounding board, my angel, my truth, my motivation, my cheerleader, my support network, my shoulder to cry on, my savior, and so much more. For that, I can never thank you enough and can only hope I have been the same for you.


Daily Affirmations & For the Love of God….

…do we really have to do this?



*throws something*

I was suppose to have been doing this for the past couple of weeks, I think, but I’ve only written down a couple of them, so screw it, y’all get to see them every day because it’s the only way I’m going to get it done and hey! Blog posts! Besides, this will help me keep track of the ones I’ve already done and keep me from going all, “yeah, but…” negative directly after the positivity I’m trying to fucking create here.

There, I’m killing two birds with one stone.

Getting two idiots with one bullet.

Taking out two zombies with one arrow.


That escalated quickly.


I’m grateful to have the gift of sight, and I’m not just talking about being able to see the normal world around me with my two eyes. I mean that and so much more, like the ability to see more of the world that most pass by without a flicker of thought. The colors, the beauty, the amazing things created that have taken millions of years to get to where they are RIGHT NOW. The ability to see that which might not exist on the same plane, as well as an occasional glimpse into the future or past. The future one tends to slap me in the face. I don’t much care for it. It’s not always roses sensing spirits, either. Some of them aren’t very nice.

For the record, I’ve taken psychology classes. I know how the brain works.

Yet…I still believe.

Which is, essentially, how the brain works.

*wonders if this is what full-on insanity feels like*

Well…my ellipses and asterisks and I are heading off to watch a movie because it’s Saturday night and I’ve done my work for the day. And workout. The fact that it is nearly one in the morning is meaningless in my world.

You’re probably wishing you’d chosen the Dreams door now, huh? Yeah…enjoy your Sunday.

*throws popcorn at you and runs off*


How Hard It Is

…to do much of anything but lay in a dark room when you have a migraine.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. The bastard woke me an hour and a half before my alarm was to go off at five in the morning, and I could not get myself to fall back to sleep no matter what I tried because on top of this horrendous headache, my shoulder is still killing me. I called in, grabbed an ice pack and took some pills, and collapsed back into bed….and with exception to the couple of hours of sleep I got at that time, I had no respite for the rest of the day. I think it finally dissipated around five in the evening, and as I type this four hours later, it’s threatening to come back, so I’ll have to make this quick and get off the computer because the internet is too bright today. Sitting in the living room where it is entirely too goddamn bright was difficult.

I don’t know about you, but when this headache hits me, I can’t write. I can’t do much of anything, to be honest.

And that pisses me off because if I’m not at my J-O-B, then I want to be working at home…because that’s what I do. And that work can be anything from editing to formatting a book to writing one of my own to accounting (gag). So when I lose an entire day, it rips me up inside and I feel guilty for not getting any work done even though I KNOW it’s not fucking possible when I can’t even look at the screen.

Right now, I feel guilty for not working on the shiny new story I started a few days ago and have been researching relentlessly because I’m super excited about this one. I haven’t been this excited about a story idea in a very long time.

And I shouldn’t feel guilty. In fact, I’m supposed to be writing these daily affirmations–doc’s orders–because I’ve been feeling a tad overwhelmed lately (go figure). But I haven’t really been writing them down. That needs to change.

So here’s today’s: I’m grateful I have a job that provides me with sick time for terrible days like this.

Yeah, I suck at this. I’ll get better.



Conversations with Pasha

…who is the reason for my latest addiction.


A couple of weeks back, Pasha brought over four Assassin’s Creed games. Four. Because, you know, I have time to play video games amidst all that I do. Usually, I’ll game for an entire day and then it’ll be six months or so before I do it again. This past Friday after work marked the beginning of my 4-day weekend, where I planned to get some work in but mostly try to relax, since I don’t get to do that much these days. Oh yes, you know where this is going. Because I started playing Assassin’s Creed II prior to this weekend. It’s my understanding that the first game in the series isn’t worth the trouble, but he brought the next four.

I’m addicted.

I want to be there. In Italy. In 1478.

Don’t believe me? Read this review.

On a side note, who knew the game was all Matrix-y? I didn’t! Even better! And damn, I could possibly learn Italian while playing this game, there’s enough spoken. Even betterer!

At any rate, I left work on Friday and thus began a conversation that has lasted all weekend, and I’ll be surprised if he survives the next time my mother sees him.

Conversations with Pasha: a mother/”son” discussion

ME: *runs off to play video games*

PASHA: New assassin game comes out the 11th!!! And Inquisition (Dragon Age) on the 16th!!!

ME: How do you kill without being detected?

PASHA: Poison I think?

ME: That’s what I thought but how do I just knick him? Oh wait, I just have to walk by, huh?

PASHA: Yeah. You walk by and knick him. It won’t alert anyone.

ME: Fuck yes! FINALLY!!! Now I’m trying to kill 10 heavily armed guards in 1 minute. I can get 9 before time runs out. Ugh. *next day* I finally got it late last night. Those fuckers are damn difficult to kill!

PASHA: Do you have smoke bombs? Those should make it way easier… Also double kills…with smoke

ME: I do not have smoke bombs! Where do I get those?!!!

PASHA: They’re part of the story…I think…

ME: I must not have unlocked that part yet. I’ll get there. I have 3 seals so far and need 12 more codex pages. Oh! The scorpion looking glowy thingy….it says “Their power will CUT down their enemies.” Or something like that. I am at a loss as to which images are the correct ones. I tried myth and real and every other combo. I may need to Google each one to figure this out. LOL

PASHA: They’re definitely part of the storyline…you’ll get there. 🙂

ME: Umi even tried to help me with the last one and she couldn’t figure it out. LOL

PASHA: She might be able to tell you if they’re historically accurate….I mean she was there, right??? 😉

ME: Oh, she’s going to kill you. LOL


Brave boy, this one is.

In my defense on that puzzle mentioned above, it was nearly 3am and I hadn’t gotten back to solving it by the end of this conversation, but I will. Oh yes I will. Actually, I’ll totally cheat on this. *grins*

LATER: It actually stated “The power they wielded CUT down their enemies” and I found a Glyph Puzzle cheat because I am not beneath cheating a game when they make a puzzle like that so goddamn difficult. The correct answers don’t even make sense!

And I finally got the smoke bombs! Now to kill off five conspirators without being detected, which is a helluva lot more fucking difficult than it sounds…apparently.


What. The. F*%@?

…because it’s been that kind of week.

It’s the fifth day of NaNoWriMo, and have I started anything yet? No. Why? Because the shiny new idea just came to me two nights ago. I’m not worried, though, because I’d started Nemesis on November 15th, 2008 because I’d forgotten NaNoWriMo had started. While I may not have completed Nemesis in 30 days, I did finish the zero draft in two and a half months. Not bad.

At any rate, I’m sorting out this story so I can get busy. I figure I’ll start on November 15th again. Hey, it worked out pretty well the last time! 😉

In case you need any inspiration to get writing, here’s Ten…