Archive | June 2009

My Life in Hell: Hell, I Have No Title

The pitbull wants to play and won’t stop biting me! OUCH! That hurts you little shit! I tweeted this one day: Dearest little pitbull puppy, I understand that you think my hand is a chew toy, and I’m cool with that, but my elbow is definitely NOT a chew toy! OUCH!

This evening it was my wrist. I’ve come to the conclusion that my hand is like a pacifier for him. Crazy dog. He’s not really even a puppy anymore, being two and a half now.

He’s hunting a grasshopper right now, with his head leaning over the edge of the futon. Yes, I have a futon on my patio.

I started to write a blog post yesterday, something along the lines of Father’s Day, but it went south really fast. Might have something to do with the fact that I don’t have a dad. Not due to death; more like abandonment and disownment. He’s disowned me twice and I’ve disowned him once, which will be the last time. Long story if you don’t know me personally, but it happened about three years ago during the last family feud. Yeah, that was fun. So anyway, that one isn’t getting posted, and I’m going to stop talking about it right now before it heads south again. Of course, being that this is my life in hell, it would fit. haha

The beginning of last week denoted the week from Hell for me, literally, until a bunch of little Twitter birds saved me from my breakdown and kept me in connection with the world. I can’t even begin to thank them enough. The love and friendship overwhelmed me, and it was totally unexpected, especially since I only know one of them in real life (actually two, as they are a couple). I shall call them my Twitter saviors (hey, there’s my title). You guys have no idea what you’ve done for me, but know this: when you are in need, I will help you if I can, however I can. I am always true to my word. And I’m going to stop talking about this before I start crying again. That’s how deeply it affected me.

Now, if I could just find a job. Yes, Heather, I’m calling on Tuesday!

I just found out today that my little brother isn’t doing so good, either, and he and his girlfriend just bought a house in Colorado not too long ago. I have to say, though, that I overheard my mother say something to him that kind of irked me. She said (and I’m paraphrasing here), “See, you tried to get ahead in life and it didn’t work.” This was in the context of jobs and you know, having a sense of ownership. I love my mother dearly, I really do, but if you guys ever wonder why I’m so damn pessimistic, it runs in my family. I try really hard to be optimistic, and let me tell you, it’s a lot of work for this girl. So here’s something optimistic for you…

One really cool thing did happen to me Monday on Twitter. Jessica Faust and Kim Lionetti from BookEnds, LLC literary agency started a Twitter pitch contest Monday that will run for the week. They’re calling it “Twitch Week!” Awesome idea and Jessica picked mine for Dusk of Death! WOOT! She also apparently liked my Twitter name. =) Now here’s hoping I get picked at the end of the week!

Here’s the pitch I threw out there: Demons, detectives, and a forensic scientist who has fallen from Hell. Hell wants her back. Let the demon hunt begin.

Yeah, so the week ended on a good note. Those are my kind of weeks! Now I’m off to rewrite an article and finish some edits on Dusk of Death. And I’ll get back to querying Nemesis tomorrow, since I found some more agents. Kim Lionetti was one of them, I believe. Oh wait, I already queried her the other day. She hasn’t answered yet. Four rejections and counting, peeps. The bigger that number gets, the closer I am, right? I have a pitch ready for Nemesis, too. Wanna see?

Nemesis hates men, so of course her boss Clancy is hot. If he turns out to be Prince Charming, Nemy’s gonna have to punch him.

And I’m out. Peace.

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My Life in Hell: Synopses

Apparently, I can’t seem to remember to do this on Mondays, either, so I suppose they’ll just be done at random… or when I remember to do them. LOL I never was good at the whole journaling thing. I’d rather write stories.

Have I already done a post with this title? I don’t remember. *shrugs* Oh well. Anyway, I’ve been working on my synopsis for the past two nights, among the other things I’ve been working on in order to get some cash in my pocket, and I have to say that my synopsis for Nemesis is coming along nicely. Right now, I am about 2600 words into it. That’s about 3 1/2 pages so far, and I’m about to start chapter 13. This would be roughly the halfway mark for the book, which has me elated. It’s looking like a 7-page synopsis, after which I will have Heather edit in hopes to bring that page number down a bit. I’m also doing a small edit while going through this, so it should be primed by the time I’m done. Sweet! I did send a query for this book last night to KT Literary because they don’t ask for the synopsis up front. Here’s hoping they like what they see, but I know better than to get my hopes up. I’m also waiting to see if the Query Shark will post and critique my query letter for Nemesis. It would be nice to have a professional opinion, since I went outside the norm for this one. You can see the query letter here.

And my computer is seriously pissing me off tonight, as well as Firefox (don’t make me switch to IE. I hate IE, but I WILL switch, damn you!). So, Ahmed…


So, with that, I’m going back to work on my synopsis and the many other things I need to get done this evening.

Birthday Blogging & Boobs

Wow, has it really been a year? I remember this day last year quite well. I was stuck at home while the fiance (now ex) had to work the entire weekend. It was my Friday the 13th birthday, the actual day I was born on 39 years prior. Those don’t come around too often, ya know. Needless to say, I was sadly disappointed with the outcome of my birthday weekend last year because I sat here on the laptop, which is something I do nearly every freakin’ night. I didn’t want to do that on my birthday, too!

My 40th birthday has so far made up for last year entirely… and it’s not over yet.

Friday evening (technically not my birthday yet) began around 10pm with the Wookies’ and Flygirlie picking me up (yes, we try not to use real names around here), and then we headed up to Scottsdale where Skin Cabaret is located, and where we sat next to the stage. This is also where I had my face pushed between several pairs of breasts. Not saying I didn’t like that, but yeah, all because the Wookies know one of the girls, I received quite a bit of attention. *giggles* Wookie-man has coined a new hashtag on Twitter – #boobfunk. The girls really liked his bald head.

For those who follow the Wookies and me on Twitter, you may have noticed a discussion about one of the girls who goes by the name Judy Booty. Well yes, Judy Booty was there and yes, she can do exactly what Wookiesgirl said she could, which is move each of her butt cheeks independently to the beat of the music. Wow! Abso-fucking-lutely amazing! Here’s a song I tweeted earlier today just for her.

By the way, this is probably the first time ever I have been SOOOOO grateful I did not hear Closer by Nine Inch Nails. And again, the song is NOT called I want to fuck you like an animal.

Warning, I’m about to go ADD on you

The awesome part of the evening (well, there were several, actually) was that my friend the Schoolteacher and her man showed up to celebrate with me. Another awesome part of the evening was that during one of the dances, all patrons had to stand up, let the girls sit down, and said patrons had to dance for the girls. That was great! Yes, I danced. Now, aside from having umpteen pairs of boobs in my face, countless lap dances (thank you, Wookies!), and several watered down drinks (I’m gonna strangle that short-pouring bartender), I had a really great time with great friends…

But we’re not done yet. Oh no, we are not.

I give you…

The Bollox at Club Red at 1AM immediately following strip central, and we arrived just in time to see their entire set. Awesome! I have not been quiet about how much I love this band. They are wonderful. And more friends appeared at this concert! Jinxie was very happy!

Until the stage-dive at the end of the last song.

Once again, I had to play bouncer/security/whatever to stop someone who was with us from fighting. I headlocked her and walked her across the dance floor. What happened? Guy did a stage dive. Landed on a girl. Yes, it’s not cool. BUT… Little clue here for those not in the know when it comes to concerts – when someone is standing on stage and they point at the crowd (not at you, per se, like this person thought), it means a STAGE DIVE is inevitable! And if you saw the guy point at you, when he started to run forward, why the fuck didn’t you move out of the damn way??? That’s what I would have done, and yes, there would have been enough time.

Ok, maybe I’m just a mean bitch, but when have you guys ever known me to be otherwise?

I could not calm her down. Finally, I was told to let her deal with her own consequences. Whatever. Time for a smoke. The adrenaline killed my buzz at that point and I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I only slept for a couple of hours. I wasn’t put into a bad mood by this, so don’t misread that, but there is a reason I hate people and alcohol-related bullshit is a very big one.

Now we have moved on into my actual birthday, and as mentioned above, I only slept a couple of hours… maybe. I went to bed when I got home, read for a bit, and tossed and turned and kind of slept. I remember dreaming – think it had something to do with zombies or maybe vampires, not sure – and after an hour of not getting back to sleep, I climbed out of bed, cooked myself some breakfast – bacon, eggs, tea – and surfed the interwebz, of course. Don’t shake your head at me. I know I’m addicted. Shut it.

I did some laundry and took a nap (I know, my life is just so glam). Umi woke me up to inform me that the ex was here… do I really want to get out of bed yet? *looks at clock* Holy crap, yes, I should do that! Sat and chatted with him for a bit, watched some TV, made the bed after flipping the mattress (that was a bitch and a half), and found myself once again online. *sigh* I seem to have no life, but really, I promise that I do have something that resembles one.

So, as it stands right now, I’m waiting for the Wookies to get home from the lake and let me know if they’re too tired for me to come over and hang out because I really don’t feel like doing too much else. Sunday is the big birthday BBQ, celebrating several birthdays at once… and I’ve just been told they may not be home until midnight.

I’m gonna go park my ass on the futon outside now. I’ll add to this tomorrow when I get home.

On a quick side note: I joined Twitter last year on my birthday. LOL

Synopses

Right now, I am working on the synopsis for Nemesis, and I hate it. It’s annoying. I think I’m summarizing too much. Honestly, I have written three paragraphs on the first five and a half pages. Too much, right? It seems that way to me. I suppose I’ll continue this way because I can always go back and revise it. That doesn’t make it any less annoying, though. I think what’s making it so difficult is that the book is written in first person present tense, and the synopsis is more like third person present tense. It’s not like changing the POV for dialogue tags and descriptions. Quite different, actually.

And I’m getting distracted by various things, like Twitter and other blogs.

Oh shit, I’m supposed to write an epitaph for Heather’s sinus obstruction! Um, yeah, gonna go give that a shot. Laters.

My Life in Hell: Ah Hell…

It’s Monday, isn’t it? Damn, time flies on by. Well, technically it’s Tuesday now, but whatever. You all should know my schedule by now.

And Twitter is having issues. It’s pissing me off. I was locked out twice today for tweeting too much. Yep, thrown in twitterjail for an hour at a time. Ridiculous and annoying, so I have created a second ID for myself – @Jinxie_G2, just in case. Make sure you’re following it. =) I have a feeling this will happen often.

All of my articles have been approved at this time and now I await more. I’m hoping they give me a lot more just for the mere fact that it means more money, which I could use right now. In the meantime, I’m working on an edit for someone, so I’m going to go do that before I become overwhelmed with articles to write.

Yeah, this is a short one. Basically, I got nothing. LOL

My Life in Hell: Stress

I’m officially changing the day of this particular blog to Mondays from this point forward. It’s appropriate anyway because everybody hates Monday, so I’m just jumping in on the hate. >.<

Stress
– that’s a fucking understatement, if you ask me. When stress causes headaches that make you nauseous and are a constant dull pain thumping through your head and behind one eye, it’s pretty clear that the stress level is really HIGH.

I really don’t like whining. This is more along the lines of bitching, which is entirely different, so get the whiney voice you think you hear out of your head. That’s not me. I only whine when I’m really sick or in a great deal of pain and have someone here to take care of me – yeah, just like a man. By the way, I have a super high pain tolerance, so what hurts me may have you crippling over and reaching for the oxycontin.

After countless applications, I have had two interviews. Yes, that’s right, TWO fucking interviews over a period of – what’s it been – eight months! This is ridiculous, and stupid, and assinine, and whatever else you can fit in here that’s appropriate. A big fat WHAT THE FUCK? here. Banks and car corporations get bailouts, and yet GM is still filing for bankruptcy. Excuse me? Does that mean I can have my Solstice now, since I’m a tax-paying citizen and I now would own part of the company, right? I’ll take one in charcoal grey or black, please. Thank you. It can be delivered to my house, but make it soon because I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be here – you know, because I’m losing that, too, thanks to this wonderful fucking economy and predatory lenders.

Don’t get on me about the bankruptcy thing. It’s called sarcasm.

And that’s just the job front part of my stress. Can you say “Pissed Off”? Yes, I’m sure you can.

I’ve completed my book Nemesis, which has me elated, and I’m working on the query letter now and will begin the dreaded synopsis soon. Writers understand what I mean by “dreaded”. We hate writing them. They’re evil, horrible, despicable things, and I curse agents who ask for them. That’s right, I’m cursing you – a thousand plagues upon your head! Just like the one I’m dealing with right now. HA!

So, you’re wondering where the stress is here, right? Today is June 1st. Summer is beginning. What does that mean in the publishing industry? A lot of agents, editors, and all sorts of publishing folks go on vacations during the summer. September is a big month for sales. I’m trying to finish this shit up so I can query the hell out of this book by the end of this week so I don’t have to wait all summer while they’re on vacation.

Can you say “Do I really NEED to sleep?” That way, I can also get this editing job done, and rewrite four of my articles that were finally looked at that I should have gotten paid for last week. When you change to a new system, especially an online one, please make sure it’s working properly. *rolls eyes*

And let’s talk about my wonderful nocturnal sleep schedule that is driving me to the brink of insanity. I’m falling asleep now AFTER the sun rises and waking up around 4 or 5 PM. How exactly am I supposed to look for a job when I’m sleeping during normal business hours? Yes, makes it rather difficult to do this, and yet I cannot seem to change it no matter how hard I try.

Also, having a conversation with my ex-fiance right now about our situation is not the most conducive plan to getting rid of the headache. However, I’ve just asked him to re-hang the heavy bag, because if I don’t get some sort of release soon, oh I’ll be famous all right – after I’ve killed someone… or several people.

Okay, I think I’ve bitched enough today. I have work to do now. Thanks for listening to my vent.

Guest Blogging

So, I wrote up a little sumptin’ sumptin’ last night and sent it over to my friend Heather Z for her blog. Yep, I’m guest-posting over there, or guest-blogging, or whatever the hell it’s called. You should check out her blog anyway. She’s way funnier than me.

Too Many Monkeys

Now – brace yourself because I’m about to put up another post. I know, more than one post in a week. It’s a little shocking. Someday when my life returns to a somewhat normal schedule, I’ll be a bit more regular with the postings here. Until then, I thank you kindly for reading and following (for those of you doing so).