One day I realized I was letting that bitch take my creativity from me….
Something happened several years ago that resulted in the loss of friendships, the loss of someone I’d considered a brother, but at the same time helped me break free from a cycle of manipulation that, under different circumstances had I not just had the love of my life walk out on me, never would have had me in the position in the first place. Vulnerability is a cunt. Now, the incident itself isn’t what’s important here; it’s the after-effects I’d like to discuss, but we need to backtrack a bit first.
Prior to the aforementioned incident, my world fell apart. Everything that I’d worked for and built started slipping away when someone I’d trusted more than anyone aside from my own mother betrayed me on a level that was too familiar. I didn’t know about the betrayal right away, however; it would be another four years before I learned of its existence, but on a level most don’t understand, I knew it was there…even before it happened. Confused? So was I for the first two years, not knowing why my world was crumbling. At any rate, shit happened and I tumbled down a spiral of depression. A good deal of it appears on this blog, and it was in the midst of that depression that the incident occurred.
Jumping forward again…. After the aforementioned incident, I had a difficult time writing much of anything. Every bit of it was a struggle, like I’d lost the drive to put words to paper. It was essentially like this person completely ruined writing for me, and in a way they had, and all I’d been able to do until recently was edit older novels and other authors’ books. I didn’t write for a good portion of these last eight years with exception to a couple of short stories and anthologies, but I’m slowly working myself back into the habit. It’s been a real bitch to do, but I try to get at least some words down. If I’m going to be honest here, I haven’t had a lot of success until recently, but it mostly happens on the weekends or during long breaks from work (school district). It was over a weekend earlier this year that I had the realization I’d allowed this to happen (the non-creativity part), and that I’d allowed someone to (figuratively) take that from me.
How could I have let this happen? I asked myself this question numerous times that night. Again, vulnerability is a cunt. There is a level of depression where you inadvertently allow people to have power over you. I’m a fairly strong person. I’m the one who stands strong when my family succumbs to sorrow. But even the strong can crumble. My ex leaving was devastating…and so, I crumbled. Once I’d realized what had happened and how, and once I forgave myself, something changed inside me. A spark re-lit the creativity.
Since then, I’ve actually been writing. And it has been glorious.
I’ve put in quite a few words this year, even for me these days, but I’m damn proud of those words because it’s taken me over two years to write this novella, and it’s currently about to release. It’s a bit longer than I intended, but if that’s what it takes to tell the story, then that’s fine by me.
Have a look….
When you’re the Prince of Darkness, how do you find true love?
Aside from lacking in the love department, Luc is having difficulty maintaining Hell and desperately needs a vacation, but when you’re the type to take on everything yourself and don’t always delegate, bad things tend to happen. Like when the harpies escaped and nearly took out a small village, or when his dog got loose and took on the traits of its father, the guard dog from Hell. If Luc doesn’t get his life together soon, there will literally be hell to pay. Behind every semi-functional man is a great woman keeping his ass in line. Considering Hell’s state of affairs, solitary life hasn’t really worked out for him thus far. Luc needs a woman, and soon. Is true love even attainable for the first Fallen?
Badboy69 – Lonely Devil looking for a match made in Hell. Must love dogs…and play well with demons.
Seph keeps finding love in all the wrong places, and is tired of men breaking her heart. Joining a dating site wasn’t the brightest idea, but when she meets Luc, it seems as though the Universe finally grants her wish. She gets bad boy, hot, and powerful all rolled into one. Little does she know: Luc is the one and only Prince of Darkness.
26Proserpina – Lonely Maiden looking for the king to her queen, to rule the world together.
The Devil of Dating is available in eBook and Print formats on Amazon. I will be attending Phoenix Comicon over Memorial Day weekend and will have a few copies available, as well as copies of Dusk of Death and The 434 Revolution. Come on by the booth and say hi, and enter to win a Kindle Fire or a signed book from yours truly! If you can’t make it to comicon, I’ll be holding an online giveaway that weekend as well.
See ya soon!
jinxiesworld.com 