Happy Holidays!

…and I’ve missed an entire week of these, haven’t I? Oh wait, I did one on Monday. Never mind.

So Christmas has arrived and I don’t know what the rest of you got for gifts, but you can’t top a dragon! That’s right, I got a dragon. I’m now the Mother of Dragons.

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Okay, his name is Smaug and he’s only six inches tall, but whatever.

Smaug, the all-powerful

Smaug, the all-powerful

In all seriousness, though, today I am grateful to have the ability to spoil those I love with things they want. If you’ve been around here at all the last five or six years, you know that I haven’t been able to do that and how much it pained me because I truly enjoy giving gifts and seeing faces light up. Oh, I know it’s the thought that counts, but when you’re on the end of not being able to buy anything at all for people you care about while others buy things, thoughts become melancholy and it outright sucks. I have worked my ass off to get back on my feet and take control of my life once again. The only thing that truly gets to you is the amount of time it takes with that hard work. No one tells you how long it will take because it’s different for everyone. Me? I drowned myself in the well of depression for two years (though I had a pretty damn good reason with the love of my life walking out on me), so it really wasn’t until I suddenly had to take care of my mother that I got my ass in gear.

I have two driving forces (or motivations) in my life: money and Umi. The former helps me take care of the latter, though the latter is most important.

What’s your motivation in life, and what are you grateful for?

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2 thoughts on “Happy Holidays!

  1. Jinxie, my Christmas parallels yours in three snowglobes scenes.

    I too have been struggling for a few years. This was the first Christmas in two years I was able to make it out to see my sister, my nephew and niece, and my grand nephews and grand nieces. And it was the first in three years I was able to bring some quality presents (awesome, actually) for the kids and something special for their new cat (that was a real treat for me; he coudn’t get enough of my massaging and scratching).

    I have been in a deep depression since Feb 8 of this year when I lost everything I own — I mean, everything, 62 years’ worth–because the storage payment came in 14 minutes after the auction. I will never, ever recover. Every single day is sad at moments when I recall what else is gone. As wonderful as it was being with my family two days ago, the ornaments on the Christmas tree remind me of the ones I had from my childhood that are now one someone else’s tree–or in the trash.

    I just found out that my brother, an outstanding individual, has not only been laid off and unable to find a position deserving of his high caliber, but he was also swindled out of all his savings. He didn’t even celebrate Christmasp; he couldn’t. So I will focus on tripling my income so I can finally pay him back the $20-30,000 he has loaned me (even though he says I don’t owe him anything–ain’t true).

    I am grateful for my talent that created decades of outstanding art and even sketches on napkins for future projects. I am devastated that is all gone. Poof. Purchased along with my soul and sold for pennies on the dollar, much of it just thrown in the trash bin.

    My motivation is to pay off everyone I owe and not have to live in sadness and anger everyday. My life insurance policy has a suicide clause, if I can just wait two years in this living hell.

    • Chaz, I’m glad things are getting better for you.

      Every day I think of the things I’ve lost, but every day I strive to not ever lose anything again. I’ve had some pretty tough life lessons, and have risen from the ashes so many times that I should have a Phoenix burned upon my back by now, but good things come from it all. It’s just not always easy to see them.

      I wish you every success in your goals, and that the sadness and anger subside so you can live happy and free.

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