…do we really have to do this?
*sigh*
Fine.
*throws something*
I was suppose to have been doing this for the past couple of weeks, I think, but I’ve only written down a couple of them, so screw it, y’all get to see them every day because it’s the only way I’m going to get it done and hey! Blog posts! Besides, this will help me keep track of the ones I’ve already done and keep me from going all, “yeah, but…” negative directly after the positivity I’m trying to fucking create here.
There, I’m killing two birds with one stone.
Getting two idiots with one bullet.
Taking out two zombies with one arrow.
*blinks*
That escalated quickly.
ANYWAY….
I’m grateful to have the gift of sight, and I’m not just talking about being able to see the normal world around me with my two eyes. I mean that and so much more, like the ability to see more of the world that most pass by without a flicker of thought. The colors, the beauty, the amazing things created that have taken millions of years to get to where they are RIGHT NOW. The ability to see that which might not exist on the same plane, as well as an occasional glimpse into the future or past. The future one tends to slap me in the face. I don’t much care for it. It’s not always roses sensing spirits, either. Some of them aren’t very nice.
For the record, I’ve taken psychology classes. I know how the brain works.
Yet…I still believe.
Which is, essentially, how the brain works.
*wonders if this is what full-on insanity feels like*
Well…my ellipses and asterisks and I are heading off to watch a movie because it’s Saturday night and I’ve done my work for the day. And workout. The fact that it is nearly one in the morning is meaningless in my world.
You’re probably wishing you’d chosen the Dreams door now, huh? Yeah…enjoy your Sunday.
*throws popcorn at you and runs off*
jinxiesworld.com 
Or, as I used to say, shits on two rocks with one bird.
No wonder you dread your affo’s. They’re long and elaborate. I was doing them every day, 17 per. (I have these little notebooks, cute little buggers, called “Fatties.” They’re only 3″ x 4″ but 1″ thick. Each page has 17 lines on it. My favorite number is 51, and 17 being 1/3 of that felt right. My pages weren’t affo’s, they were gratto’s. Some were just one word, such as AMPERART or CRAZY CATS! or SOBRIETY or full statements FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD or GOD’S LOVE, GUIDANCE, FORGIVENESS. These are actual outtakes from a list that was just setting in front of my right now, from >12>01>12 (my dating system for January 12, 2012). All caps because the lines are small and I write faster in caps. And I would not have written anything about God that mother fucker who allowed my soul to be auctioned off from my storage unit last February 8, leaving me a decrepit miserable shell ever since, but it was the last line so I copied it here. Funny, just yesterday for the first time in months I spoke to God to say I hate what he did to me but please guide me. I really am devastated and miserable. That stuff was my past, present and future. And now to read “forgiveness” on the last line. As if it’s my fault I lost it after putting so many plans in to place and spending $15,000 in storage over several years? … Well, I haven’t written a gratto list since February. Maybe I’ll start again. I do have my cats, my family, my sight (I did have a scare two years ago when I thought I had a detached retina but it was far less serious; just some floaters) and to go back to that one line, FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD. Like you.
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OKAY…I just wrote my first gratto list since Feb 8. Here is the 1st and last line and a few in between:
JINXIE (HER AFFO LIST STARTED UP THIS GRATTO LIST)
#12 (my home- unit #)
FOOD
JEEPERS & BEBE
FRIENDS & FAMILY (that was easy – title of my latest AA)
JEEP (THE CAR)
HOPE THAT MY STUFF IS SAFE (my larger storage units)
AMPERART
TALENT ALTHOUGH I’M OUTBID ON ELANCE
GOD ALLOWS ME TO HATE HIM
Thx, Jinxie, for inspiring me to give thx right before Thxgiving.
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Actually, I dread them because I don’t know what to write. This is what I end up with once I start writing.
“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” ~ Stephen King
My issue is I just need it to be like one sentence, but I need material for the blog at the same time. LOL
I’ve lost everything too, in a slightly different way, but lost is lost. Between Jan ’09 and Jan ’10 for the major stuff, then everything else trickled away over the next year or so. I was in a horrible dark place for two years as a result.
And I am also grateful for friends around the world. Maybe that’ll be today’s post. And you’re quite welcome on the inspiration. It’s folks like you whom I talk to every day that give me mine. 😉
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