Before the clusterfuck of yesterday, I’d spent the week in Tucson visiting HC Zuerner. It was meant to be a write-in for NaNoWriMo, but we didn’t get much writing done due to the awesomeness of Dragon Age: Origins. But, before I get into that, I will say that I discovered my MS needed to tell its story in first person rather than third person and I did get that edit finished. It just seems to add the “voice” I’ve been searching for in this thing, which has eluded me for the past two weeks. Now, with one week left of NaNoWriMo, I have yet to break 10K and I can’t seem to move forward in the story, although I have figured a few things out along the way, which is cool all in itself. I don’t care so much about the word count at this point. The story is unfolding in my mind and the characters are revealing themselves. I will admit, however, that this has been the hardest time I’ve ever had with writing a novel. They’re usually not quite so stubborn in revealing the story to me. I see it in my mind, I write it down, and it flows out beautifully. But no, this one is being a pain in the ass.
I haven’t written much since I finished Nemesis in January, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think Big Daddy was my muse, but I don’t believe in muses and I wrote two books before ever meeting him. The issue really, is stress. That’s a guess. When I’m stressed out about real life, and I mean REALLY stressed out, I have trouble writing, which is odd considering where Nemesis came from. It foretold the demise of my relationship. The ideas for shorts and novels come in a steady stream, but I fail at the execution, or really, finishing the project. I’m hoping once everything has settled, and I’m in a new house and have money coming in again, that I’ll be able to concentrate on finishing all the things I’ve started this year. I mean, really, I wrote Nemesis in two and a half months, and last year I wrote a 70+K novel in three days. I can do this.
Things will get better… My grandmother used to say that all the time. Life is definitely a roller coaster ride and I’ve had my share of ups and downs, and seeing where I’m at right now, I know that the ups are coming again soon.
Back to this past week…
I had a great time hanging out with Heather. We laughed and played Dragon Age: Origins and drank A LOT of wine. She wrote a bit; I edited and tried to write but I was so immersed in the game she was playing that it completely distracted me. I wish sometimes I could just turn the ADD off. Shiny things, people. WTF was that? Holy crap, ZOMBIES! Let’s not forget the full-on screaming-at-the-television-and-jumping-in-our-chairs-watching-football-like reaction to her character killing an ogre in THE best kill move I’ve ever seen. I have now added an Xbox360 and that game to my wishlist. I don’t game very often, but when I do it’s an hours-long stretch of straight gaming. Usually I just go, go, go until I get pissed off at the game, but that surprisingly didn’t happen with this game. I’m even more impressed by it because of that. If you haven’t played it yet, you should.
My second night there, she made a beef stew. This, of course, followed the Peas and Eggs stew Sunday dinner at the Wookies’ house. My friends live to torture me, I swear. (kidding) I hate cooked peas and carrots.
My last night there, she took me to a Jordanian restaurant. Great place! Best hummus I’ve ever had. I ended up staying an extra night, but when Friday morning came, I reluctantly drove home…and right back into the clusterfuck that is my life as seen two posts back. *sigh*
Things will get better.
Yes, grandma, I know they will.