This is my first attempt at actually writing a “pitch”:
Armen Leza does not recall exactly how she became human when she fell from Hell, much as she did not understand her sins when they cast her into the Darkness after falling from Heaven. All she did was give birth to a Nephilim, and in her eyes, such an act should not have meant condemnation or damnation. It is the very reason she no longer speaks to her Father and doubts her faith in why He does things.
Now all Hell has broken loose and Armen must find out why in her Father’s name the demons are after her. With the aid of handsome detective Terry Armstrong, whose father was a Catholic priest and is now a demon wrangler, she must hunt those she resided with in the Darkness of Gehenna-something she never thought she would have to do-while trying to dissuade Terry’s interest in her outside of the professional realm.
In the grand scheme of things, Armen and Terry face an impending apocalyptic event that will throw this world into Gehenna forever, leaving the fate of all humanity at the hands of demons for eternal torture. In order for this to happen, Armen must die. Somewhere along the way, perhaps Armen can rediscover her faith in her Father, and maybe help Terry find his again because he also has a special gift.
Dusk of Death is a horror thriller that uses such literary devices as cliffhangers and suspense, fast-pacing and frequent action within each chapter, and an unlikely acerbic heroine who was once a demon, but is now a forensic scientist. While demon hunter novels are growing in popularity, this novel takes on a different approach with the protagonist’s past while also adding a bit of humor in the interaction between two of the main characters.
So, would you read this, and why? And how’d I do? =p
How about now? I moved the first paragraph to the last.
5 thoughts on “Dusk of Death Pitch”
Only because I read Query Shark faithfully would I ever suggest anything to someone hoping to land an agent.Take the first paragraph and either eliminate it or put it at the end. The editor most likely wants a quick synopsis of the story, not what they should think it is. At least from what I’ve seen.
Well, definitely keep the horror thriller description though.
heh I read Query Shark, too.Thanks for the advice! This pitch is for the ABNA contest, which states in their little tutorial that one must describe the book’s overall strength, originality of idea, intended market, and why one thinks readers would like it.So, delete half the first paragraph and put it at the end?
Jinx! It looks great! I want this to see the light of day. Or figure out how to get it in print. For me. And your faithful followers. 😉
Thank you! Believe me, I will try very hard to get this one into print! It’s one that just flowed right out and I love the story too much to let it gather dust in my office. =)
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