Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

…or as it’s commonly called, the Game of Thrones episode that has everyone freaking the fuck out over nothing. Really, it’s fucking nothing.

Most people are good about not throwing spoilers into the cyber winds, and then you have those few idiots who can’t keep their goddamn mouths shut for more than a few minutes after the episode ends. Hell, some even spout out the shit during the episode. I throw reactions into the wind, but that is all. I give no indication of what is happening to whom or the like. Personally, I hate spoilers and usually try to stay away from the interwebz after certain shows air until I have a chance to watch the current episode. The Walking Dead is one of those shows. Games of Thrones is sort of one of those shows because I apparently can’t trust y’all’s fucking opinions on this show anymore.Spoilers

All I’ve seen for the past few days is people going off about the latest episode of a TV show about kings and queens and war and white walkers and incest and arranged marriages and rape and assassins and dragons….you know, the normal things that make up a harsh realistic world like the one George R.R. Martin has created that isn’t so unlike our own past history.

My reaction at the closing of “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” AKA S506?

337451-thumbnailOkay, seriously, what the fuck are people freaking out over in this last Game of Thrones​? That scene was mild compared to other similar scenes. M-I-L-D. They didn’t show anything. Not a damn thing. Jesus Christ, you should be more upset over the Jaime/Cersei scene because *that* one was wrong on so many levels and really, its own shock-filled conversation. But I still watched it, and it didn’t upset me. Because it’s fiction. Fiction that portrays a reality that yes, existed (and still does in some regions) in our really real world once upon a time. You can’t exactly ignore aspects of life that upset you and that you don’t agree with. It doesn’t make them not exist. Besides, how the fuck do you expect to change anything horrific in the world we live in if you live in that little glass bell and shield yourself from the horrific? Guess what, Tinkerbell? You can’t. Because you don’t understand it.

And you have to understand it, or at least be aware of its existence, in order to change it. To make it stop. And that is extremely important. Because. It. Must. Stop.

This ain’t Cinderella riding off with her prince, bitches. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. I’m saying it’s a show based off a book written by an amazingly talented author who understands exactly how a world like that works. You want Cinderella? Go watch Disney. But it’s season 5 now. If you haven’t figured out by now there are no happy endings in GRRM’s world, then you are in for a world of hurt and heartache, my friend.

But I hope you keep watching it, and I hope the shock-value teaches you something because it’s good that it shocked you. It truly is. It means there’s some sort of moral code written in your DNA, or really, you fucking learned something in life and that would be the difference between right and wrong. Good on ya!

Yes, it sucks that rape exists in the show. And yes, it sucks that rape exists in our reality. But let me tell you two things about this: 1) you can’t ignore it. It doesn’t just vanish when you turn your back to it, kind of like abuse. When you sweep it under the rug, it doesn’t go away. It festers like a disease. And 2) if we can’t learn from our history, then all hope is lost and we are doomed to continually repeat ourselves and our past mistakes. I mean, fuck, take a look around. What do you see?

I won’t even begin to tell you what I see because we all know how I feel about humanity. But let’s discuss the writing….

I love horror movies and stories, but I can’t write them to save my life because even though I can see and feel and delve into the madness of that mind of a killer or what have you, I cannot put it to paper. Maybe in my mind, it makes it real if I write it down. I want to change it, make it better, lighter, not so full of ugliness and hatred because my brain screams “THERE’S ENOUGH OF THAT IN THE REALLY REAL WORLD!” Rape/molestation scenes are difficult to write as well because those touch a nerve that never should have been aggravated. We all have different experiences with these things, and different emotions and reactions to them. The end of S506 was a mere few minutes of conjecture and leaving everything to your imagination combined with what we already know of Ramsey, including what he did to Theon. That is all. Your shock stems from a history of knowledge and experience…of what you know of Ramsey, of humanity’s past, of what your mind visualizes, and maybe even personal experience on some level. And I hate to tell you this, but that’s some damn fine writing and directing if you’re that shocked over a scene you never really watched.

On a side note, I hope someone butterflies that little motherfucker wide open.

Also? Fuck weddings in Winterfell. They’re dark and dreary and morbid…. Come to think of it, it reminds me of the Addams Family. Never mind. But honestly, if anything, that wedding scene should have told you what was coming. That was a death. Brilliant, that.

UPDATE: I’m adding this link on the History of Rape. Yes, it’s a Wiki page, but it’s referenced to hell and back. Really, I could add SO MUCH MORE in the links arena, but let’s face it, you likely won’t click on them. Fucking Google shit.

As someone who enjoys studying Anthropology as a hobby, and well, being an Observer by nature and design, I think it’s extremely important to understand our history and know that while writers do elaborate on truth or fact in their fiction, or make things up entirely (*gasp*), sometimes fact is fact, and you just can’t argue with it. I’d also like to point out that while rape has been illegal (for the most part but with varying degrees) throughout history (YAY humanity), and emperors and kings despised it, it doesn’t mean it didn’t fucking happen. For all we know, rape is illegal in Westeros, but hey, it’s fucking happening.

There is a rape scene in one of my books that I’ve planned on removing for some time now because it’s always made me uncomfortable. In another book of mine, such a scene was cut before the second publication. Why? Because I don’t ever want someone to think this action is okay. Bride abductions, which is a very common theme in some romance novels, are wrong. I’ve complained about it online. My first thought is a movie I first saw as a kid titled Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That movie is the epitome of bride abduction, which is defined in that link.

At any rate, I’ve been ranting about this all day, so I’m going to stop before my mouth gets me in trouble. Conversation today was basically….

ME: Rant rant rant rape rant rant…*phone rings*…rant rant rape. Motherfuckers. *answers phone* Help desk, this is “Jinxie.” How may I help you?
GUY3: *laughs*
GUY2: Oh my God, “Jinxie.”
OTHERGAL: *cackles*

PS: Please understand that in my statement of dropping the MF-bomb, no one in the call center was on the phone….thank the fucking gods.

Baking Powder Bread

Jinxie G:

I may need to try this recipe, with a few modifications for my allergic-to-the-entire-world diet, of course.

Originally posted on Bite From the Past:

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In my journey of bread making, I came across a recipe that I’m dying to share with you for a number of reasons. It’s a really simple recipe-and it contains no yeast. Because it has no yeast, it takes less preparation time-great for working moms! And it contains a potato-which just sounds fun to say. Actually, I learned from research, and from making this recipe, that replacing a portion of the flour in your bread with potatoes can result in a softer and moister loaf. Who knew?

The recipe comes from the New Dr. Price Cookbook, published in 1921 by the Royal Baking Powder company-which explains why there is so much baking powder in the recipe! Baking powder, of course, serves as the leavening agent and while the amount may seem large, it really does work. Here’s the recipe

Ingredients
• 4 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1…

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So I’m Allergic to the ENTIRE World

…and I don’t even know where to begin with this.

The Hives

(no, not the band)

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What food does to me

So if you’re my friend on Facebook, you might have noticed my recent news and are aware of the hives I’ve suffered for nine weeks running now. In short, I’m allergic to…uh…the entire world. Not really, but it sure as fuck feels like it after the little revelation I got on Friday.

We all know I’ve been trying to change my diet over the past year or so. Hell, I even quit smoking a year ago. After that, every hidden health problem I have ever had, like EVER, came to light. [Thanks, Body. You can fuck off now for keeping those secrets all these years. Oh, and thanks for the systemic incurable shit too. I really appreciated those.] At any rate, I’d given up dairy for the most part and tried to eat more fruits and veggies (organic, of course), but damn it’s difficult when you’ve grown up on a diet of meat and potatoes and dairy….and TV dinners and junk food and soda. I’m honestly surprised I’m not diabetic, and yes, I’ve been recently tested. I’ve been tested for a LOT of things lately. Most recently, I did a food allergy test.

You know it’s not good when your doctor starts the conversation with, “I have never seen a panel with this many food allergies.”

My response: “Just fucking great.”

I should probably mention that I was at work….in a small call center….where everyone can hear you.

Luckily, no one was on the phone at that precise moment.

On a scale of 0 to 4 (lowest to highest, thank you very much), welcome to my new life (in I-don’t-want-to-be-on-this-fucking-diet hell):

Food Allergy Test Results

My morning routine consisted of organic toasted oats with a dash of stevia in unsweetened almond milk and my coffee with vanilla coconut milk creamer. I’ve apparently been killing myself for years with the dairy anyway because that’s an inflammatory food and my body doesn’t like those. I also want to curl up and cry right now because I have a house full of food that I can’t fucking eat and I’M HUNGRY (this was on Saturday). I still haven’t been able to replace a lot of the foods I eat because every time I go to the store, I end up almost in tears after reading the labels and realizing that all of the gluten-free crap is made with rice flour. ALL OF IT. I can’t have rice, either. So I’m screwed no matter what and I haven’t had time to really sit down and figure out recipes that do not involve ANY of the things on that list above OR the things that might be related to them. For instance, pecans aren’t on there, but three other tree nuts are. Guess what I’m not going to be eating anytime soon. That’s damn right–pecans, mugglefeckers.

I’m also about to head off to Vegas tomorrow afternoon for a Wizard World Comicon, so yeah, restaurants should be fun. Hell, eating in general should be interesting. I picked up a few snacks at Sprouts today that will hopefully save me when I’m S.O.L.

Those of you who, like me, suddenly found yourselves allergic to the world’s buffet and are muddling through, I admire you. I honestly don’t know how you survive because I’m reading labels and thinking, “Fuck, I can’t eat this, either. WTF can I eat?” It’s depressing. It’s irritating. I’m in shock too. It’s like quitting smoking or ANYTHING, really.

On the bright side, I have a wonderful network of friends with similar issues who have offered support, advice, and recipes. I fucking love you guys. Seriously. Also on the bright side, I may lose weight from this alone. HA! And now that the hives have dwindled to a minimum, I can start working out again.

Off to Vegas, bitches!

Photo credit: Batgirl

Photo credit: Batgirl

Ten Ways to Tighten Your Writing & Hook the Reader

Originally posted on Kristen Lamb's Blog:

Screen Shot 2013-03-15 at 9.40.52 AM Image via CellarDoorFilms W.A.N.A. Commons

When I used to edit for a living, I earned the moniker The Death Star because I can be a tad ruthless with prose. Today I hope to teach you guys to be a bit ruthless as well. Before we get started, I do have a quick favor to ask. Some of you may know that I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu so I’ve taken on our dojo’s blog to see if we can try out new and fun content and am using the moniker Dojo Diva.

I posted about how hard it is to begin and the fears that can ever keep us from starting. The way others try to stop us from doing anything remarkable. I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories, so I hope you will stop by and get the discussion going.

Click the word “Comments” and a box should appear…

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One Year Ago…

…I quit smoking. Holy shit.

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Yeah, it’s been a year and I can’t believe it, especially considering I haven’t really had many cravings. I haven’t had to use my e-cigarette unless I’m around smokers. I tried the vapor, but I didn’t care for it much because it hurt my throat. I guess I was just finally “ready.” I’ve always said there was a psychological addiction to move past with smoking and that the physical addiction–the nicotine addiction–was easy to get over. That only took a few days, a week at most.

I will say, however, that there have been a few days where I just plain miss lighting up a smoke, but so many things stop me and it only lasts a second. The smell, for one, is disgusting to me now. That goes for anything you’re going to smoke. Hence, the reason I couldn’t handle the guy upstairs–who has since moved–smoking weed.

So much changes when you quit smoking. For instance, just take a look below:

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That’s a great graphic up there, but do you know what it doesn’t tell you? Allow me…

If you don’t get your body in motion, you will gain weight. Now, I didn’t suddenly start stuffing my face with food. I eat differently, yes, but it’s a healthier diet. So WTF happened? My body’s systemic dysfunction and autoimmune system freaked the ever-loving fuck out, that’s what. I was no longer poisoning my body with all the chemicals cigarettes contain; thereby, masking my systemic disorder which makes it seems like I never got sick.

On the contrary, every disease you didn’t know you had will suddenly come to light because up until now, your body has been hiding them and they’ve turned into systemic diseases. Then you have to work with your doctor(s) on peeling each layer back to find out what the hell is going on with your body.

Brad Pitt celebration GIF

It hasn’t been fun, but at the same time, I do feel different, in a good way. Regardless of what my body is going through on the current layer (which happens to be hives from hell), I know that in the end I will feel a TON better and that perhaps I’ve added some time to my personal clock.

hourglass GIF

Who knows?

At any rate, Happy Birthday to me! I get to live a little longer!

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Grind

100621cyborg

The me that you know
smiles and laughs
when deep inside
she feels nothing

tick tick tick

The me that you know
functions through life
when deep within
she’s falling apart

screech

The me that you know
fights every day
through a pain
most cannot fathom

grind

The me that you know
has become a machine
because it’s the only way
she can survive

thump-thump thump-thump thump—

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© 2015 Jinxie G

Secret

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I’ve forgotten how to live
Life kicks my ass
daily
The world spins by
so quickly
I hardly notice
anything that’s happened

And then five years goes by
and I look up

What? When did that…?

I have a broken heart
I hide from
the world
daily
I like to pretend
it’s mended
But the truth is
it still has shattered
pieces

I’ve tried to find them all
but there’s a vital piece
missing
The one that makes you
feel whole
feel alive

….

I don’t think I’ll
ever feel
the same
again

….

Maybe…
Perhaps…
that’s the point