Category Archives: Jinxie G

Generally Speaking . . .

Posted on by Jinxie G

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a terrible blogger. I try to stick to a schedule, with each day of the week bringing something different, but I either run out of material or Life decides to dump everything on me at once, leaving me in a frenzy of putting out fires and cleaning up messes.

But right now, generally speaking . . . I’ve got nothing.

Except for my babbling . . . and these damned robin eggs Umi keeps buying!

Thank God Easter is over.

At any rate, I’ll get back to it soon . . . as soon as I can think of something to talk about again. I’m too busy editing and writing at the moment.

In the meantime . . .

295478_423110351100169_1670263138_n

*taps nails against desk* I’m still waiting!

Guest Author Stephen Ormsby

Posted on by Jinxie G

Dearest minions, I’ve been so freakin’ busy that I didn’t have time to finish my Tuesday post, but an author friend has stepped in to help me out today. Please welcome him and take a look at his book.

Today I’d like to introduce you to author Stephen Ormsby and his book, Long Lost Song.

A virus is decimating America today and Michael Decker is the culprit.  Or is he?

Is it the work of a curse recorded into a song by 1930’s blues musician Ricky Jensen?

Long Lost Song tells the story of Ricky and Michael as they battle their personal and real demons while the world reaches end times of biblical proportions.

One question remains. How do you stop a devil of a song made to break a crossroads deal?

Stephen C. Ormsby was an IT professional for twenty years before deciding to lead a more creative life.  He has always loved the idea of writing novels and had written four when Long Lost Song came along, demanding to be published.

This is his first but will not be his last.

He lives in South Gippsland with his wife, two children and a mad cat.  He has travelled extensively, is an avid reader and enjoys listening to a wide range of music.

He has a huge music collection (over 80,000 songs) that just shuffles all day. Sometimes it finds a groove, but other times it can be very disconcerting.

You can find Stephen on the web at the following links:

Blog: http://stephenormsby.wordpress.com/

Twitter: @Quiet_Noise

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/QuietNoise

Facebook fanpage for the book: https://www.facebook.com/LongLostSong

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/217451

You can also click on the book cover above to view the book on Smashwords. If you tell Stephen I sent you (on the Long Lost Song page or via Facebook message), he’ll give you 25% off the book.

Stephen has some interesting books coming out soon, so check him out!

Leave It to a Drag Queen…

Posted on by Jinxie G

…to drag a three-hour show out to six.

The Monday before Moonbug died, her breeder and my friend JL, invited me to the Miss Gay Arizona America pageant because her daughter was dancing for one of the divas…I mean contestants. Neveah, to be exact. I thought “Sure, why not? It’ll be fun and I get to see JL’s daughter dance.” What couldn’t be more fun than a bunch of drag queens onstage? Seriously. And they have a pageant I never knew existed. Right on!

For the record, my son is gay. Just in case one of you takes anything I say in this post the wrong way.

Following are some of my tweets and status updates. At one point, there was a 2-hour respite from tweeting, which meant I was thoroughly entertained. You’ll notice where it is without the time stamp, trust me:

Ugh. After such a hectic day yesterday, I don’t think I have the energy for drag queens, not to mention NOTHING TO WEAR!!! *head desk*

My “son” needs to get his ass over here and help me find something to wear!!!

“This evening’s music selection is sponsored by an elevator somwhere in Phx.” LMFAO! – as quoted from Katina

OMG The commentary on this is hysterical! LOL

For those of you who are clueless as to what I’m doing, I’m at Miss Gay Arizona America. #MGAA

At the question round. #MGAA

Going on 4 hours now. Holy crap! (See? I told you!)

#MGAA 2004 performing… http://twitpic.com/ag1zwq 

Wow! Totally did *not* call that Coco would do Lady Gaga during her talent act. No. Not. At. All.

I think she’s doing EVERY Lady Gaga song there is! #MGAA

Hey John, I’ve never met Geoff’s wife. Lol My friend’s daughter just danced onstage with Neveah. (apparently, Geoff’s wife also attended this event)

…is still at the Miss Gay AZ America pageant. Holy fucking hell.

So everyone thought this would be over at 9, just like I did, and I’ve missed ALL showings of #TrueBlood tonight. #MGAA

I’ve had to put my glasses on to tweet/text bc my eyes are so fucking tired now. #MGAA

And then someone just had to go and lip-sync the Whitney Houston versin of I Will Always Love You, which is the longest! #MGAA

Oh dear God, please END! #MGAA

Dear fucking hell, someone please shoot me! This thing just won’t end.

@JlManley: I miss 9:00pm. I miss 10:00pm Awwwe Hell, I miss 11:00pm. Thank you @Jinxie_G for keeping me from throwing myself over the balcony – G’nite.

LOL @JlManley You forgot 6pm. G’night, lady! Happy to keep you company with my snark. =) Thanks for taking me.

I am finally home. I need food, smokes, and a drink. Not necessarily in that order.

Regardless of my latter comments, the Miss Gay Arizona America show was pretty dragon! =p

Of the 11 contestants, only four had really good talent pieces, one of which was Neveah so I was really proud of JL’s daughter because damn! That girl can move! Neveah’s set was all apocalyptic-like to the tune of Britney, I think. I’m not big on pop music, but even with minimal props, she rocked the stage. Neveah won the talent award. You go, girl! Contestant #2 whose name escapes me did Tina Turner and pulled it off so well, I thought I was actually watching Tina Turner by the end. Good job! Contestant #10, I think and whose name also escapes me but she was gorgeous and wearing a yellow dress, did a Marilyn Monroe tune and I really enjoyed it. Contestant #3 was Diva (or Deva…I don’t have my program anymore) and her talent piece was spectacular Spanish dancer with four skinny dancer boys painted up all Dia de los Muertos style. The beginning part of her set reminded me of the painting that hangs on my living room wall, which happens to be The Spanish Dancer by John Sargent. The rest of the set blew me away and there is no question in my mind as to why she won.

The bad – I had to sit there for fucking six hours! While wearing spanx! And 5-inch heels are a bitch to walk in after sitting for SIX FUCKING HOURS when your legs keep going numb!

The good – I’ve decided that one of my characters in my Kick-Ass Girls Club series is going to have a gay brother who is a drag queen and will be a contestant in this pageant. I’m not kidding. Which means I’ll need more research.

I’ve told y’all time and again that Life is my muse. The above is how it fucking works. Don’t ask me why because fuck if I know. Go somewhere; get an idea. See something; get an idea. Hear something; get an idea. Feel or smell something; get an idea. Taste rarely happens, but it does happen.

So…will I go next year? Perhaps, but if I do, I’m gonna need more alcohol, bitches!

All Apologies

Posted on by Jinxie G

My dearest minions,

I have been dealing with technological issues for quite some time, and those of you who follow me on Twitter or are on my Facebook can attest to the frustration I have experienced over the past several weeks. It’s been a nightmare. I was in technology hell, but I’ve found an escape route…

G brought me a new tower and I picked up a Wi-Fi USB adapter on Sunday, and TA DA! We have an Internet connection! Granted, I’m on my desktop now and laptopless because the motherboard pretty much fried on that bitch, but at least I can work again, and now being confined to my cave of a bedroom in order to do all of this, I should get more work done, right? RIGHT???

Of course.

So all apologies for the blank week (it was just one week, right?). I’ll get back on track next week, starting with another Writing/Editing post.

Peace out, bitches!

CONTEST Winners!

Posted on by Jinxie G
First, I’d like to thank all who participated. You’re all awesome and I love you, my darling minions. We have TWO winners in Tuesday’s contest for the FREE e-book Shadows in the Dark by LD Hutchinson, and one lucky winner receives a pair of amethyst earrings made by yours truly!
I’m excited! Are you?
Two of you gave me the correct answers to the question: Name one of the original titles for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which had two possible answers: The Dead Un-Dead and The Un-Dead.
The answer to the bonus question was Count Wampyr.
Thank the gods he ran across the name Dracul during his research!Good job! I’m very proud of you! =D

Alright, so let’s get down to the winners!

Winner #1 wins the FREE e-book, and the winner is: Christina

Winner #2 wins both the FREE e-book AND the earrings: Leah

Congrats to you both!!! Email me. I’ll send you the code for the book. And Leah, send me your address so I can mail your earrings, which I will do on the 1st.

Thank you so much for participating! For future contests, I’d LOVE to hear your ideas. Drop them in the comments below and we’ll discuss.

Click on the image to visit my shop
 

It’s CONTEST Time!

Posted on by Jinxie G

That’s right, my darling little minions, we’re holding a contest. I know, it’s been awhile, but have no fear, you can win a FREE book!

Last Friday the 13th *giggles* I helped host a book release party for an hour, where I had three of the author’s books to give away, three of my books to give away, and someone won a piece of handmade jewelry from me. I did a drinking game of sorts because in my book Nemesis, Nemy is a bartender…and likes to drink…a lot. *ahem* At least three of the drinks I used in the game were from the book. =D

The thing is, I didn’t realize 1) how much fucking FUN doing that would be, and 2) how little time one hour is. So, I have TWO copies of the book below to give away today. Take a look…

Shadows in the Dark by LD Hutchinson

What dark things lie in wait for you when you least expect it? Vampires? Avangeline used to think they weren’t real, until she was told that her best friend has been one for years now, as well as her fiancé, and most of the other people she knew. Later, she finds out what she really is… The heir to a Vampire clan, and the only thing that can stop a war between good and evil. 

Go take a look at the link here, but it’s pretty much the same thing I have listed above.

It’s a FREE ebook, people. And it has vampires in it. Oh sure, I could keep a copy for myself, but I’m going to buy it so I can review it later. Reviewers aren’t allowed to receive free copies. It’s a stupid new law. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, you’re wondering what the damn contest is, right? Well, first, you HAVE to comment on this in order for at least ONE entry to count. Second, you HAVE to follow the directions for your options outside of commenting on the post…and here they are:

  • Share this on Twitter for 3 entries
  • Share this on Facebook for 3 entries
  • Reblog or mention it in your blog for 2 entries

If you choose to do any of the above, you MUST provide the links for each item you do in your comment, and give me your TOTAL number of entries as well. Next, answer the following question, if you dare, as it is the main part of the contest, after all…

Question: Name one of the original titles for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. (1 entry)

BONUS entry for Count Dracula’s original name!

It’s easily searchable, by the way. =)

Just so the answers to the question(s) don’t show up here in the comments for everyone to see, email those to me at: jinxieg13 (at) gmail (dot) com, with the name you post your comment as above or below the answer(s).

And as a bonus, I’m throwing in THIS wonderful piece of jewelry as a prize to one of TWO lucky winners!

Note: You can do ANY of the things above, only some of them, or ALL of them. It’s entirely up to you; however, you MUST at least comment on this post in order for your ONE entry to count. There is opportunity for a total of 11 (eleven) entries!

You have until 11:59 pm, Thursday, April 19th to get your entries in. And by all means, let’s make this entertaining so SHARE!!!

Seriously…don’t make me beg.

I’ll choose a winner on Friday the 20th, using Random.org.

Spam Comment of the Week X

Posted on by Jinxie G

This will be the last post I number because I just don’t feel like going any higher in the Roman numerals. Besides, they start getting really long after awhile. Maybe I’ll add a date instead.

This week’s comment amused me, so I thought we’d use it. It’s obviously a spammer for Pinterest, as the name is Saw this on Pinterest. Yeah.

I’m also amused by the fact that this comment was left on last week’s Spam Comment of the Week.

Thank you, I’ve just been looking for info approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve came upon so far. However, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain in regards to the source?|What i don’t understood is in reality how you are no longer actually a lot more well-appreciated than you might be right now. You’re so intelligent.

The bottom line, dear Saw is that all of you spammers are fucking idiots who so very obviously do NOT read the posts you’re commenting on; otherwise, you’d all respond so much more differently. As for the source of my information, well, it came right out of my spam folder in Akismet, which isn’t tampered with at all. But, dear Saw, along with you, I really don’t understand why I’m not more well-appreciated either. I mean, I’m fucking hilarious. Right? Don’t answer that. Just smile and nod.

You flatter me, dearest Saw. Thank you so much.

Now, go buy something from me: http://www.etsy.com/shop/JinxiesWorld

Conversations with Umi – Part II

Posted on by Jinxie G

Last May, I posted Conversations with Umi, right before Umi’s birthday, which is May 6th (remember that, folks). One of the conversations involved Palm Sunday (look below post), which just passed last week. Since I had a complete JinxieFail on posting about Palm Sunday being on April Fool’s Day *snorts* (and I totally wouldn’t have forgotten had it been Easter to fall on that day), I’ve decided to do another Umi post. I mean, hey, her birthday is coming up anyway, right?

By the way, if you haven’t discovered it yet, Umi has her very own Facebook Fanpage. You should go “like” it, if you haven’t yet. She’s quite fucking hysterical.

Let us begin, shall we? I’ve pulled these from her fanpage.

* * * * *

UMI: Do you need someone to go with you for the EEG?

JINX: No.

UMI: You can’t drive if you’re drugged.

JINX: I won’t be drugged. They’re studying my brainwaves.

UMI: That won’t take long…

* * * * *

JINX: Oh noes! You missed #NCIS!

UMI: Fuck a dick!

JINX: *snorts and falls over*

* * * * *

UMI: I was going to go to bed, but I don’t think I’ve seen this #NCIS….ooh, I’ve got chocolate!

* * * * *

UMI: I’m gonna go lay down for a bit.

JINX: OK, love you, mom.

UMI: I’m not going to bed!

JINX: I know.

UMI: You love me anyway?

JINX: Of course I do.

* * * * *

UMI: I’ve got Hogwarts down on my Bucket List!

* * * * *

UMI: *to firefighter on TV* You must not have seen that spot on the application that says “ugly guys need not apply.”

* * * * *

UMI: *glares at Jinxie_G* You’re disturbing my “me” time again with your damn #insomnia!

* * * * *

JINX: I love you, mom.

UMI: I know you do. I’m your favorite mom!

* * * * *

UMI: *walks out, looks down at Moon* Hi butthead!

* * * * *

UMI: That’s probably for Sunday (Pony Express riders)

JINX: What’s on Sunday?

UMI: *sighs* A hundred years of statehood. Sheesh.

JINX: How do you remember this shit and forget to take your pills?

* * * * *

JINX: *bangs on computer*

UMI: Know what I think?

JINX: What?

UMI: You need a new laptop.

JINX: I would agree.

UMI: Know what else I think?

JINX: What’s that?

UMI: I need one too.

* * * * *

JINX: I wish I had a photographic memory.

UMI: I wish I had ANY kind of memory.

* * * * *

UMI: Are you gonna tweet that?

JINX: You betcha!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Fiat commercial* Is that that Sofia gal?

JINX: That is not Sofia Vergara.

UMI: Are you sure? It looks like her.

JINX: It’s not her.

UMI: It sure does look like her.

JINX: It’s not her, mom.

UMI: It looks like her.

JINX: I’m ignoring you now…

* * * * *

UMI: I am almost ready for bed.

JINX: Good, I can watch my fight porn.

UMI: What fight porn?

JINX: Spartacus.

UMI: *raises hand* I am Spartacus!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Subway commercial* Sorry, but Ben Franklin was never a president! *rolls eyes*

* * * * *

UMI: SPIDER!

JINX: Is it a black widow?

UMI: I don’t think so. Well, I can’t tell bc it’s smooshed now.

JINX: You didn’t know the last one was a black widow.

UMI: You said it wasn’t!

JINX: *rolls eyes* No, I told you it was and you didn’t believe me, but it was black and had a fucking hourglass on it’s little black body.

UMI: Whatever. This one’s dead.

* * * * *

JINX: You got some new fans!

UMI: That’s because I’m funny.

* * * * *

UMI: I think we need to move to another planet because this one’s going to Hell in a handbasket.

* * * * *

UMI: *watching new Crayon commercial* I wish we had a kid so we could get some of those.

JINX: *blinks* You want us to have a kid so you can get the new Crayons?

UMI: Sure!

JINX: How about I just buy you the fucking Crayons, Mom?

UMI: Eliminate the middle man. That’s good. I like it!

* * * * *

UMI: *watching Edible Arrangements commercial* I’m gonna send myself one of those!

JINX: Really? People are supposed to send stuff like that to you, Mom.

UMI: Well I don’t have anybody to send me one!

* * * * *

JINX: *squints* It’s too bright in your room.

UMI: That’s bc you like the dark, vampire person.

JINX: *continues talking about something else* Wait, did you just call me a vampire person?

UMI: Yes.

JINX: You gave birth to me, you know. What’s that say about you?

UMI: It’s one of my mistakes.

JINX: Thanks, Mom. I feel so loved.

UMI: I love you, Jinxie! *hugs tight*

JINX: Riiiiight.

* * * * *

UMI: *opens front door*

JINXIE: ACK! Bright light! BRIGHT LIGHT!

UMI: Oh stop it. You’re not a gremlin!

* * * * *

On Palm Sunday 2010:

Jinxie: Jesus fucking Christ!

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: I know. *pause while surfing web* Jesus fucking Christ.

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: And your point is?

Umi: *glares*

Jinxie: What?

Umi: *glares some more*

Jinxie: WHAT? Do you not want me to say that? LOL

Umi: It’s Palm Sunday.

Jinxie: Okay. So I shouldn’t say that what, 3 days a year?

Umi: Yeah, that’d be good.

Jinxie: What about Ash Wednesday, you want me to add that?

Umi: *shakes head and walks away*

* * * * *

Are you scared yet? You should be!

Welcome to my insane world.

Spam Comment of the Week XV

Posted on by Jinxie G

Oh yes, we have another one. Isn’t this fun? It’s still kind of slim pickings in the spam comments, but let’s see what we’ve found this week.

Today’s spam comment on Linguine in Clam Butter Wine Sauce comes from Monster Beats. Oh yeah, bring it!:

This is certainly my first time i check out listed here. I discovered so several entertaining things in your blog site, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments in your articles, I guess I am not the only 1 having many of the enjoyment below! Retain up the great operate.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any comments on that particular post, though I do appreciate the flattery, Monster Beats. In fact, I don’t get a lot of comments in general, which I try not to bitch about, but then, most times I don’t post things for y’all to comment on. My bad. However, I’ll do my best to “retain up the great operate,” whatever the fuck that means.

Wait . . . didn’t I say something similar last week? *blinks* Oh man, I need to find something else to post on Mondays.

Happy Monday, everyone!

 

Happy Easter . . .

Posted on by Jinxie G

. . . or as I like to call it, Zombie Jesus Day!!!

Image by Angry-Eyeball

In honor of Jesus rising from the dead, we will be consuming flesh in the form of ham today. Spiral-sliced honey-glazed ham, bitches. Yeah, bc that’s how I roll.

Happy Easter, everyone! Umi and I hope you have a lovely day with your families, or whomever you choose to celebrate this day with, if anyone.