Since the spammers are being stupid now and only leaving me comments with links, which I won’t EVER approve OR discuss outside of this sentence due to their subject matter (things best left for erotic tales and little blue pills), I will now have to switch topics. So there will be no more Spam Comment posts. My apologies. Hang the spammers, if you can find the little bastards. Let me know, though, because I’d very much like to pull that lever.

I know there are a ton of writing rules out there these days, and the agents and editors aren’t always correct. Shocker, I know, but I mean, hell, look at 50 Shades of Grey (yes, it was essentially self-published first, but a larger house picked it up). That book is an editing nightmare…but that’s just my opinion. A lot of people really seem to love it. Good for them. There are a lot of vanilla people out there who know nothing about that world. I won’t be reading it without a red pen.

Sharon, my business partner in Running Ink Press, and I believe that you should Write Outside the Box! A lot of the “rules” are out the window with us because, well, we tend to disagree on the accuracy of said rules (for instance, she’s running a Save the Adverbs campaign), but regardless of what we believe, we don’t want the “rules” to hinder your writing style. NOTE: We are not accepting public submissions at this time, but we will announce when we are ready to do so. Subscribe to RIP for updates.

That said, I’d like to discuss some of the things that grate on my nerves I edit when I’m working on someone’s (or my own) novel.

This week’s tip is: Passive voice.

Some agents/editors don’t care for it. Some don’t give a shit either way. Some might try to strangle you if you use passive voice, so be careful. If Terry Brooks tried to publish The Sword of Shannara today, he’d get turned down MULTIPLE times, and not just because of passive voice. He head-hops like no one I’ve ever seen. It’s insane. But damn, is that a good book!

Basically, passive voice can be something you don’t realize you’re doing until someone points it out. For instance, using was with an -ed or -ing ending word is passive, though not always. If it’s not active, it’s passive, and passive isn’t always good. I believe there are times when you just can’t write around this instance, but most of the time you can. My rule is that if you can change the sentence and make it better without using the was -ed or -ing combo, great. You’ve just improved as a writer. But if it’s impossible to change, it’s not a big deal. Sometimes, we just have to use that combo. Sometimes, we just have to write passively, and it’s okay.

So you want an example. Okay, fine. I’ll pull something from one of my own files. That’s right, yours truly has used passive voice numerous times in the past. Sharon can attest to that, and I’m surprised I’m still alive. Oh look, I’m editing a vampire novel I wrote back in 1999. There are a TON of amateur writer mistakes in that. Lucky you. I’m in the midst of a sex scene, though, so you’ve been warned. HA!

Example from The Vampyre Prophecy:

The salty taste excited him because it was like tasting victory after catching his prey.

Yeah, I know, it’s a horrid sentence. I wrote that shit 13 years ago. So where’s the passive voice? Let’s take a look…

The salty taste excited him because it was like tasting victory after catching his prey.

The words marked in red obviously signify the passive voice. When you read the entire sentence, you see that I’m telling you what’s happening here. I’m not showing you or allowing you to taste the victory yourself. That’s the issue. So let’s fix it.

The salty taste excited him because it tasted like victory after catching his prey.

See how much cleaner that is, how it flows better, rolls off the tongue better? Now it’s not so passive. Now you can kind of taste the victory instead of me telling you what it tasted like, I can only hope. I could even go further in the edit…

The salty taste excited him. It tasted like victory after catching his prey.

Imagine what it’s going to be like once he’s tasted her blood.

By the way, I almost missed that sentence in this edit, so I’m glad I came up with the idea for this post!

Professional Example (taken from Painless Grammar by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.D. – I used to work with kids, people):

Passive: The ball was hit.

Active: Zhen hit the ball.

In the active sentence, we see who hit the ball. That’s important. When the person doing the action isn’t important, then passive voice is okay, such as in the following sentence:

The cafeteria food was contaminated.

No one cares who did it; just that it happened.

There you go, your writing/editing tip for the week. When you’re writing those words today, watch out for passive voice! And if you’re editing for someone else, keep an eye out for it!

I started out titling this post Editing Tip of the Week, but realized this might be more about writing than editing. Really, it’s both. You decide. Tell me in the comments below if this Monday post should be:

Editing Tip - 

Writing Tip - 

Thanks!

And now that I’ve been completely distracted from my novel, I’m going to squeeze in a bit more editing before bed.